How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Sanctuary
 Poetic Haven
 I choose you.
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Poet deVine, Martie   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

I choose you.

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member
since 05-22-2002
Posts 1680
Washington State


0 posted 10-24-2004 01:05 AM       View Profile for Kellie_Cantrell   Email Kellie_Cantrell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Kellie_Cantrell

Quietly I gather my thoughts,
                             and ponder my taunts.
Too soon, or too late,
                      and without the proper bait.
Balancing on a wire of humility,
                                a broken record of lies


        I choose you,
to cast away my fears,
                     free me from my tormentors, and mend the record the spins throughout the night.


Slithering the serpant hisses,
                              failing me to be near.
his evil deception,
                   brought on by the temptations of man
Hidden by the shallow,
                      ambitions of slavery.

        I choose you,
to cast away my fears,
                      to break me softly.
and catch my fall,
                  allowing room for improvement.
My faith and hope,
                  be drawn near to you.

Feel free to look in Spiritual, Critical and Prose for writing by me!

God Bless,
Kellie

© Copyright 2004 Kellie M. Cantrell - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


1 posted 10-24-2004 07:20 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

Kel, who is doing the taunting and bating in the first stanza? It sounds as if you are asking God to guide you, to protect you from the snake, whom I must assume is some kind of Devil?
Perhaps because I am not of the Christian faith, I am misunderstanding the intent, or reading too much into this one? Anyway, hope you have a good week.
Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member
since 05-22-2002
Posts 1680
Washington State


2 posted 10-25-2004 02:24 AM       View Profile for Kellie_Cantrell   Email Kellie_Cantrell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kellie_Cantrell

Temptation: This poem is about casting away my human nature to follow sinful temptations.

Being someone who I am not. This is a cry and a plea to be right and in alignment with my faith.

I think this poem can only mean what is in my heart and could be easily interpreted by others in a way that isn't as personal as the interpretation in my heart. I am not sure if I am making any sense, but I hope so.
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


3 posted 10-25-2004 07:54 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

I've been reading this one over the past few days, and did see the obvious spiritual messages, and it did seem rather personal.  So I was a bit askance at responding, not from the spiritual, but from the personal, since once the notion is in my head, it's rather hard to assign Speaker or Narrator en leiu of the author.  But I guess the primary question I had was why this one wasn't posted in Spiritual, where it might fit a bit better, though Haven definately has enough room for any style.

Anyhow, I did enjoy the personal introspection and realization of flaws and ways to overcome them, or if that is not an option, to subtly change those flaws into facets.

Alicat
Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 02-15-2001
Posts 4465
Lurking


4 posted 10-28-2004 07:59 PM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

Nicely written.

Andrew
fractal007
Member Elite
since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


5 posted 10-31-2004 02:08 AM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fractal007

An interesting poem, but it seems that some of the wording is not constructed as well as it could be.  For example, the opening stanza is way too awkward for my taste.  The use of the words bait and taunt is rather uncalled for, I think.  It confuses the meaning.  Perhaps you could choose something else?

The shape of the lines is interesting.  You made sure that you kept a good form and the line that was excessively long was that way for a good reason.  After all, broken records do run on a little longer than we'd like.  

This was a nice poem and a good read.  A diamond in the rough, as most work is, though.

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

quietlydying
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 06-10-2001
Posts 1316
the wonderful land of oz


6 posted 02-26-2005 01:07 AM       View Profile for quietlydying   Email quietlydying   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for quietlydying

i'm speechless.  it's awe inspiring and amazing at how far you have come as a poet.

'Christianity is the complete negation of common sense and sound reason.'
-- Mikhail Bakunin

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-23-2003
Posts 7179
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass


7 posted 09-29-2006 10:22 PM       View Profile for Ratleader   Email Ratleader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ratleader's Home Page   View IP for Ratleader

And it is...yes....exactly so.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

 
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Sanctuary >> Poetic Haven >> I choose you. Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors