Thanky, Serenity, for the thought provoking response. For meter, I was striving for septameter, but had great difficulty with sticking to one foot. In short, some lines are iambic, others trochaic, which may throw some off. Not to mention septameter is an odd meter. However, I did not really want to have to rewrite the entire piece again, as it's taken me the better part of a week just to find the words to describe the image I saw, and I had already rewritten it twice prior to posting.
And I'm not completely against pulling lines from pieces for discussion. Just against copying and pasting the entire piece prior to comments instead of utilizing the Topic Review link at the bottom of nearly every response page. So feel free to dissect in your unrestrained manner.