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Passions in Poetry

Dear Cynthia, Why Leave Us? (So Young)

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young_blood
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since 09-19-2003
Posts 1118
Indianapolis, IN


0 posted 06-04-2004 10:47 PM       View Profile for young_blood   Email young_blood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for young_blood

Dear Cynthia, Why Leave Us? (So Young)

Empty, with an eye open left
To watch the door float from vision,
Winding its path down a breath
Gone by, sliding past photo prisons
Bound in stained oak's bark, with some smile
Faded, lips sag as if to say:

"Empty, we are full of space", I squint
And remember those who slid through,
They waltz with the boldest, blank print
Stares back at the de*th calls--poor you,
I still float along here, to hint
That playgrounds are in heaven, too.

© Copyright 2004 Alex Lewis - All Rights Reserved
Allysa
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since 11-09-1999
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In an upside-down garden


1 posted 06-07-2004 09:06 AM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

Your poems always make me think.

The title alone made me wonder, who is Cynthia, why is she leaving, where is she going, how is she young? Is she, perhaps, dying? But the use of the word 'leave' makes me think she is going intentionally, or that she has some choice in the matter... however...

the bell for second period is sounding in precisely ten seconds.. I'll be back.
Marshalzu
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Lurking


2 posted 06-07-2004 11:47 AM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

I like your style of writing but I kind of felt lost within the middle of that second stanza, that aside I did enjoy the read.

Andrew
young_blood
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since 09-19-2003
Posts 1118
Indianapolis, IN


3 posted 06-11-2004 06:49 PM       View Profile for young_blood   Email young_blood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for young_blood

thank you both very much
Ceinwyn
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since 07-09-2000
Posts 2238
Baltimore, MD


4 posted 07-19-2004 07:49 PM       View Profile for Ceinwyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ceinwyn

"I still float along here, to hint
That playgrounds are in heaven, too"

That's actually quite comforting when you think of it...another thought to store when I find myself thinking of ones that have left...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

LoveBug
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5 posted 07-31-2004 10:33 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

Hehe, I was about to quote that same couplet. A very interesting write, although it is sad, it echos of comfort and peace as well. The people on the other side do come to us in ways, I believe. A nice write.

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

Ratleader
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Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass


6 posted 09-29-2006 06:50 PM       View Profile for Ratleader   Email Ratleader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ratleader's Home Page   View IP for Ratleader

Such an insight! They are....and I think that would apply to any beloved place, whether playground or some grassy hillside.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

 
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