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Passions in Poetry

Ridiculing

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fractal007
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since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


0 posted 05-23-2004 09:33 PM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for fractal007

Written after noting a rather foolish ideal I held almost a year ago.  That ideal of keeping a journal for the sake of preserving "truth" against the lies of those who would obscure it has no small amount of credibility.  But it would be foolish to believe that it granted twenty-twenty hindsight.




I might be prudent in covering
myself here, giving an apology
for the nonsense I have written.
Would it be correct to claim that
I have told you that writing will
grant you perfect penetrating hindsight?

There is a vast realm of human
knowledge that no amount of writing
can preserve or teach, that an
un-uttered tongue may only preserve
by word without mouth.

But I wrote that material upon paper
and now am confounded as to why I felt
it so important to recount the strange
experiences of my recent life on paper.
The written text bears no obvious clue,
the material is often written with few
morsels of description to help me understand.

Is that why I am apologizing here today?
No, that is not the reason, but rather
it is the constantly changing meanings
that the text will bear for its reader,
the lost intent of its author laid dead.
Will we do any history a favour by writing?
Most certainly, I suppose we will, but
will we confound those who would hide it?

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

© Copyright 2004 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


1 posted 05-25-2004 11:20 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

Sometimes, I write on order to let go of some intense feelings. Other times, I write in an attempt to solve a problem by creating a smaller problem (third rate writing, LOL) just so I don't have to deal with a really BIG important or scary problem. And yes, sometimes I want to document MY version of truth and reality.

I have no idea why you think you should apologize for anything you've written.


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


2 posted 05-28-2004 11:08 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Your critique window is open...   May I offer a few suggestions on line breaks [I am practicing my critique technique on you...as well as some good advice on line breaks from others...let's see if this works for both of us...if you don't mind?]


I might be prudent
in covering myself here,
giving an apology
for the nonsense I have written.
Would it be correct to claim
that I have told you
that writing will grant you
perfect penetrating hindsight?

There is a vast realm
of human knowledge
that no amount of writing
can preserve or teach, that an
un-uttered tongue may only preserve
by word without mouth.

But I wrote that material upon paper
and now am confounded
as to why I felt it so important
to recount the strange experiences
of my recent life
on paper.
The written text
bears no obvious clue,
the material
is often written with few morsels
of description
to help me understand.

Is that why
I am apologizing here, today?
No, that is not the reason,
but rather
it is the constantly changing meanings
that the text will bear for its reader,
the lost intent of its author laid dead.

Will we do any history a favour by writing?
Most certainly, I suppose we will,
but will we confound those
who would hide it?

~*~

See what you think...I know the help I've received in line breaks recently have really helped me along.  Of course if you don't like them, then I at least thank you for giving me the opportunity to add a little input.
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


3 posted 05-29-2004 05:17 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

I'd say yes to those line breaks, they help it flow more smoothly.
Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 02-15-2001
Posts 4465
Lurking


4 posted 06-07-2004 12:08 PM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

This is such a wonderful poem and is so close to my heart as a historian (albeit still in training). Thanks for sharing.

Andrew
 
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