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 Moderated by: Poet deVine, Martie   (Admins )

 
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Passions in Poetry

I'm not alone in an empty room

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Riley
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Senior Member
since 07-18-2002
Posts 1122
in the pouring rain


0 posted 05-15-2004 02:16 PM       View Profile for Riley   Email Riley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Riley


the nights are so cold here
maybe its because my windows open
i'm laying outside in the pouring rain
i've been waiting for you
for so long
i can't remember the last time i took a breath
without you
forgetting the real things seems impossible
but i want to

i glance up
your still not here
but i can hear your voice whispering softly
telling me
don't leave
when are you going to be
look beyond whats normal

you'll find me

i believe in trust now
that your kiss means something
i can't understand
but i'll tell you everything
i know

can you remember me
or will i be lost forever

in your memory

no matter what i'll always love you
i swear

© Copyright 2004 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved
muted
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since 01-15-2004
Posts 3021
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving


1 posted 05-15-2004 03:14 PM       View Profile for muted   Email muted   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for muted

Riley, this is absolutely beautiful in its longing, its need.....wonderful deeply expressed.
Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-2002
Posts 1122
in the pouring rain


2 posted 05-15-2004 03:39 PM       View Profile for Riley   Email Riley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Riley

muted: i appreciate your comment and i am so glad you liked it that much. i am flattered...
<3always
riley

no matter what i'll always love you
i swear

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


3 posted 05-15-2004 08:59 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Riley

"i believe in trust now"

Not an easy thing to do sometimes, but a sign of courage.  
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


4 posted 05-15-2004 11:26 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

i can't remember the last time i took a breath

~*~

This fits so many situations.  Riley, welcome home!
Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-2002
Posts 1122
in the pouring rain


5 posted 05-16-2004 12:17 PM       View Profile for Riley   Email Riley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Riley

martie- trust is so hard....but it comes eventually...thank you for the reply

sunshine-thanks...and its good to be back
always
riley

no matter what i'll always love you
i swear

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


6 posted 05-17-2004 06:58 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

This poem seems to lack most of the elements that make me love your poetry---in particular, the strength of your imagination.  

Although, I get the feeling that this isn't one of those dressed-to-impress poems of yours, but something you wanted to write as a communication between your self and the apostrophic other.  In that sense, though I'm not comfortable gauging quality, I'd wager you're been successful...

Lovely seeing you around here again, Ri.  Take care of yourself, sweetheart.  

Bri

"God becomes as we are that we may be as he is."  ~William Blake

Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-2002
Posts 1122
in the pouring rain


7 posted 05-18-2004 08:14 AM       View Profile for Riley   Email Riley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Riley

LP: gosh its been a while since i've been here. and between now and last time i was here, a lot of things have happened...i went through a "depresseD" stage if you want to call it that....and now my life is getting back on track. but thank you for the reply...my poems will get better...hopefully....once again thanks for the reply...

<3always,
riley

no matter what i'll always love you
i swear

Marshalzu
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Member Elite
since 02-15-2001
Posts 4465
Lurking


8 posted 06-07-2004 12:05 PM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

There are some real moments of beauty in this poem but I was more than slightly distracted by the last two lines of the second stanza, which to me at least seemed to make no sense. Still I really enjoyed the read, thank you for sharing.

Andrew
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