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Passions in Poetry

One Less Voice

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Poet deVine
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Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


0 posted 02-03-2004 09:26 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Poet deVine



Will this poetic chorus go on
If you should remove your voice
Yes, I guess it will in a way
Leaving is really your choice

Others will come to fill your spot
With a sound all their own
Their voice isn’t yours though
With the nuances you have shown

The chorus will sound different
Not better and yet no worse
And though you’re no longer here
We sing on with rhyme and verse

We may lose the edge you gave us
The melody may sound weak
The baritones to deeply blend
It just needs a little tweak

Singers have their own worth here
No one’s voice stands out alone
We’d surely sing if anyone left
But perhaps with a different tone

We sing a unique song of poetry
As five years unites this choir
Will your one voice be missed here
If you choose to retire?

Take away one special note
And the song will be sung awry
Take away your poet’s voice
Wish us farewell, goodbye.

The song will go on to be sure
But your nuance will be gone
So think twice before you choose
To have your voice withdrawn.

The tapestry of woven voices
Is what makes this chorus strong
So please, think twice about leaving
Help us right what you feel is wrong.

© Copyright 2004 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved
inot2B
Member Elite
since 09-18-2000
Posts 2272
Alabama


1 posted 02-05-2004 02:09 AM       View Profile for inot2B   Email inot2B   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for inot2B

Very nicely written. There are those who will always find something to complain about and threaten to leave.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


2 posted 02-05-2004 04:53 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

What strikes me about this poem is its sincerety...a lovely inspire of intention.
I'm sure those this was wrote for, appreciate your kind intend and spirit.
And a timely piece in light of how things have been here.(again)

----

"When your own emptiness is all that's getting through
There comes a point when you're not sure why you're still talking ...
I passed that point long ago"



Jackson Browne


~~~

Heres to healing...at pips, or where ever our voice carries us.

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


3 posted 02-06-2004 06:05 AM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Here here!
Nan
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Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


4 posted 02-06-2004 08:21 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

This makes perfect sense to me... Well said, PdV..
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


5 posted 02-10-2004 12:07 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

Music, a lovely metaphor for what we come together to do here. I enjoyed this a lot... Just one thing though:

The baritones to deeply blend
It just needs a little tweak

I'm not sure if baritone is the word you want here. Baritone is a voice part (male, btw), like soprano, alto, (female ) bass (male again! hehe), esc.. maybe I'm just not picking up on what you meant though  

Again, a wonderful description of what seems do be going on here as of late. Maybe you should repost in one of the main forums for all to see??



Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee
 
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