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Passions in Poetry

I want to write beautiful again

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Sven
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since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


0 posted 12-07-2003 11:06 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Sven

I want to write beautiful again
I want those blues, greens, and whites
       to flow again like they used to
              instead of these reds and blacks

I want my words to speak of my heart again
       not of this
                   but of that
not of what you want me to say
       but, of what I want to say

you say I cannot speak of these things
       in this way
                   at this time
but yet, you speak of things when the cafe
       is open and the boards are closed

I want to write beautiful again
just like I used to
       before
              you tried to hide the
                               moon from
                                    my eyes

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am tired . . .

© Copyright 2003 John Garcia - All Rights Reserved
Allysa
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since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


1 posted 12-08-2003 10:30 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

i liked your ending.  Not feeling very chatty, maybe later I will have more interesting words to say.
Temptress
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-15-99
Posts 7276
Mobile, AL


2 posted 12-08-2003 11:35 PM       View Profile for Temptress   Email Temptress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Temptress

Hiya, Sven Pen. Another one from you and even in a different forum this time around!


First of all, I think the word you're actually looking for is "beautifully" rather than "beautiful"?

Second of all. Its a simple request you write, but isn't it asking yourself more than anything? If you let yourself, you CAN write beautifully again. Just get through the clutter first. When it comes to creativity I believe you have to clean the house in order to see the floor sometimes. I hope that makes sense.


enjoyed

All of my impurities are right here on my sleeve. This is Me"---Faith Hill

inot2B
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since 09-18-2000
Posts 2272
Alabama


3 posted 12-09-2003 09:44 AM       View Profile for inot2B   Email inot2B   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for inot2B

I've missed your "moon" poems. Let the colors flow from your heart. Glad I wandered over to this site.
Child of the Stars
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since 09-07-2000
Posts 1972
Ann Arbor, MI


4 posted 12-10-2003 10:34 AM       View Profile for Child of the Stars   Email Child of the Stars   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Child of the Stars

Yeeeah I know how you feel...this is beautiful in its own desperate right, Sven. The morning will come.

  ~Carly

"How inimitably graceful children are in general before they learn to dance!"
           --Samuel Taylor Coleridge

KoKo
Senior Member
since 02-15-2003
Posts 1012
Inside the shadow's shadow


5 posted 12-10-2003 11:22 AM       View Profile for KoKo   Email KoKo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for KoKo

I think the use of "beautiful" instead of "beautifully" sounds beautiful!

I know exactly what you're saying, and can appreciate this on so many levels.

Local Parasite
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since 11-05-2001
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Transylconia, Winnipeg


6 posted 12-15-2003 03:22 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Sven, I agree with what you're saying and understand your sentiments completely... sometimes I feel as though I've lost my ability to hear the inspiration of the day-to-day world.  All I can say is that you need to keep in mind what it is that you're doing... make a conscious effort at seeing the world as something translucent, and write lines on what lies beneath the surface.

Best of luck to you, my friend.

Brian

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

Martie
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since 09-21-1999
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California


7 posted 12-15-2003 09:00 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Sven...I understand this too.  I am having trouble writing lately...and I have all these feelings like crayons sitting out in the sun they are running to mucky brown.  I want to write beautiful again too.  
fractal007
Member Elite
since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


8 posted 12-18-2003 10:17 PM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fractal007

Well, we all do face our down periods as poets.  But remember that sometimes you just change styles and you have to write to reflect what's going on in your life.  You might not like that but sometimes reds and blacks are the only colours adaquate to express what's happening.

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


9 posted 12-22-2003 10:14 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

thank you all my friends. . .and yes, I know that there are times where we need to just take what comes. . .but, I'm ready for those times to end. . .

thank you all again. . .

-------------------------------------------------------------

I am tired . . .

LoveBug
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since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


10 posted 12-26-2003 03:29 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

We all have dry periods. I've had mine for quite awhile. It's hard when people around you sap your inspiration. Thats not the case for me now, but I know that it's hard. You expressed your emotions well in this piece, and I think that makes this a better poem than any sort of pretty description of flowers and trees or anything.

PS-- doin good in my music dept!

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

ESP
Member Elite
since 01-25-2000
Posts 2574
Floating gently on a cloud....


11 posted 01-18-2004 05:45 PM       View Profile for ESP   Email ESP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ESP

Lovely. I think the use of "beautiful" works beautifully too. Better than "beatifully". It's great.

"Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~

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