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Passions in Poetry

Girl in silk walking the road

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bsquirrel
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since 01-03-2000
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0 posted 11-06-2003 07:01 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

Girl in silk walking the road.
Her eyes are turning, turning in.
Glowing passing headlight beams.
Makes no shortcut through the field.

If she speaks then she will sob.
Nods a no to passing drivers.
Stunned to silence by the road.
Length and darkness stretch for miles.

Huddles closer to herself.
Air thread-thick. It smells like flowers.
How can travellers still travel?
How can roads exist to wander?

She will find her bed by morning.
In a ball within her home.
Mirrors are a nonsense game.
Girl in silk walking the road.
© Copyright 2003 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Wind
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1 posted 11-06-2003 08:04 PM       View Profile for Wind   Email Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Wind

This shines brightly and then leaves me sad.
I never know why.

reminds me of this old one of yours:

"A girl will cut across the landscape;
crunching snow will fill the soundtrack.
She will carry a sack of groceries.
She won't stop or notice the stranger."

dusty dusty road and then there is just this girl, walking home. but home is gone.

funny that you can be so tired that you can't even sleep. The mirrors being a nonsense game...I know that feeling too well.

What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall?
All walls are great, if the roof doesn't fall.
-yorke/bjork

bsquirrel
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2 posted 11-07-2003 11:54 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

It probably makes you feel sad because this is a poem about rape ... I know it makes me sad.

Mikey
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores


3 posted 11-07-2003 01:57 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Mike~
A read of sadness ... I felt the hurt and fear of the girl~
GOOD penning~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
     noles1@totcon.com     

Deep_Inside
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since 02-14-2002
Posts 377
i can't stop hiding


4 posted 11-07-2003 03:29 PM       View Profile for Deep_Inside   Email Deep_Inside   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Deep_Inside

sadness expression speachless...

when you live you begin to die
when you die memories of you life lives in others
when memories of you begin to fade
you truly begin to die

bsquirrel
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5 posted 11-07-2003 03:36 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

"It's co-o-old, out there, and ro-o-ough." -Liz Phair

Thank you both, seriously.

.m.
Wind
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6 posted 11-07-2003 06:32 PM       View Profile for Wind   Email Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Wind

now I really know why it makes me sad. sigh...
bsquirrel
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7 posted 11-07-2003 09:26 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

*hugs to all*
Allysa
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In an upside-down garden


8 posted 12-01-2003 03:10 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

I'm cold now.  And this makes me feel sad and hurt.  Good write, Mikey.
Local Parasite
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Transylconia, Winnipeg


9 posted 12-04-2003 03:06 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Thank you Mike, for reminding me what meter is supposed to do.

As for the poem's content... it is a lonely, lonely place in one's own thought.  Walking the road is never nice, but sometimes it can be important.  This poem really resounds for me personally, as it reminds me of someone in my life right now.  

A fantastic poem about the existential lifestyle.  Great, great work, Mike...

Brian

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

fractal007
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since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


10 posted 12-18-2003 11:21 PM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fractal007

BSquirrel:

I read this poem once a few weeks back, but I couldn't find anything to say in response to it.  I ought to confess that I still cannot.  The form is an interesting one.  You've chosen to write discrete sentences - ABSOLUTELY no enjambment.  But at the same time, the writing flows and the reader hardly notices the periods.  

The questions posed and the awkward circumstances throughout this poem are quite well-drawn out.  Thankyou for a good read and a challenging piece to critique and respond to.  I'll stowe this in my library for the time being.

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

 
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