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Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2003-11-02 08:15 AM

The Last Act

One of her last acts
was to check on me, with a summoned energy
she did not feel, that carried her over the miles,
smiling through her pain,
to look around and nod, saying,
you’ll be ok,
and I nodded, letting her think so.

She had decided that it was time
to take me shopping – a mother/daughter day
that we had never really experienced before,
and wasn’t I too old for this,
at 40?

I followed in her wake, allowing her,
her state of demand,
dutiful daughter that I was,
for when she would declare
the air
was green, so be it…

so be it.

She further decided
to be brilliant, and eschewed the beiges
that I picked up, and donned,
while she went for wicked brilliant,
something that said
see me?

She pulled out a red-blue blouse, and sized me up,
saying
you’ll look good in this

but you’ll need a different lipstick.

Then too soon, she left, to return to her own home,
to die.

Over the years, the colors in my wardrobe
have gone from beiges to more substantial hues.
Now and then I change the color
of my lipstick
if I wear a red blouse,

and think upon her last acts,
the why of them,
seeing her again
in my own
green
eyes.

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (11-02-2003 11:00 AM).]

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2003-11-02 11:48 AM

Oh, Karilea, but this one made me tear up today.
It is a beautiful, tender write, right from the heart.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

2 posted 2003-11-02 12:15 PM

OMG Kari , you just helped me to understand my own mother . . .
thank you
this is so lovely in it's pain
xxoo

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

3 posted 2003-11-02 03:17 PM

I found this,  only after much pondering
as to a word or two....  You have no idea
how I relate to your words as a son, growing
into his 40s,  trying to relate to a
father who,  as your own mother,  always had
the last word of an opinion or supposed
fact....making a boy grow to be a man,
hesitant at times to speak his liberty and
continue on in his life,  grown and
decisive in his own thoughts....

As you once said, in another poem....the
silent ones,  they become poets....

Here we are, huh?  Poets, splitting the
atoms of verbs and vowels,  cleaving the
air with a tarnished though learned quill,
thriving on our own speech and the ability
to write of the heart,  the soul...and a
past so filled with silence,  that only
now comes out...

Thanx KJ,  for sharing with us all a part of
your life.  One you have pondered many hours
in reflect of thoughts, decisions and
actions that you both were responsible for..

Barry

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

4 posted 2003-11-02 04:13 PM

Wow... simply wow.

And, I love your picture.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

5 posted 2003-11-03 06:38 PM

Kacy, as it comes from the heart, I'm glad it found yours.  Thank you, m'dear.

Yes, Sue, sometimes the loveliest thoughts carry the deepest pain.  Hugs to you...

Here we are, Magnus.  Thank you for being able to see this from a man's view.  I'm never sure if my words reach both sides - I always hope they do.

Allysa...that wow on you is good for me.  Thanks.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

6 posted 2003-11-03 06:50 PM

You see? You see what I meant today?
To have the reader break down in sobs..
to be able to trigger a memory in the mind of the reader,
so profound..they thought they had forgotten..until now.
I want to be able to write like you one day.
This is a gem..you took me there and uncovered the memories.
I thank you for writing this.
I thank your mother for You!
~Heart Hugs~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
So you won't ever forget me~

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

7 posted 2003-11-03 09:12 PM

you are so lovely....now I understand....
Lauren~

i carry your heart with me
i am never without it
you are what a moon has always meant sky of sky
the wonder that keeps stars apart-
e.e.cummings

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

8 posted 2003-11-04 10:07 AM

Enchantress, I had a discussion about our recent "you do it better" conversations with my friend and editor, Bridget. She has read your work, and my work, and is tickled to death that we each write from within, and admire the other's writing "more". I got the impression she thinks we should just keep giving her more to read...

Greeneyes...I'm just beginning to understand. I guess I inherently knew at age seven that it was going to take me many years to wise up, before I could share anything substantial. Thank you.

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

9 posted 2003-11-04 08:15 PM

"I followed in her wake, allowing her,
her state of demand,
dutiful daughter that I was,
for when she would declare
the air
was green, so be it…

so be it.

She further decided
to be brilliant, and eschewed the beiges
that I picked up, and donned,
while she went for wicked brilliant,
something that said
see me?"

I actually read this the other day when you first posted it Kari. Thought then and now, that you so often paint a picture (both visually and emotionally) that couldn't be any clearer if it were a photograph.
And I always enjoy your "characters"...

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

10 posted 2003-11-04 08:24 PM

Thank you, Duncan. That is a wonderful compliment, and exactly what I wish to do with my writing. At times. Sometimes, I like it a little misty.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

11 posted 2003-11-04 10:23 PM

Karilea...A mother's love is not always spoken in words, sometimes it's just a red blouse....This was so touching for me in remember of my own mom. Thank you!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

12 posted 2003-11-05 12:21 PM

while she went for wicked brilliant,
something that said
see me?
=============================

and think upon her last acts,
the why of them,
seeing her again
in my own
green
eyes.
=============================

Now who knew one could find their purpose, truth and reasons while shopping for a blouse?

(she did)

and so now do you)

Lovely heart reflections in this moving write Kari. So many times she has been such a stirring muse for you. I'm so glad I didnt miss this special poem.

Loved Barry's reply too

Words break into splinters on the pages I write
If I lost you I don't know what I'd do ...
Burn forever where the flame turns blue

David Gray

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

13 posted 2003-11-05 03:12 PM

Thank you Martie. It's always good to know that someone else has been in my shoes.

JM - you little moth, you, there was always a sense of ESP between Mom and me. We let a lot of words just drift in silence between us, a very quiet understanding that what she did was all right with me, and what I did...well, if she approved, she didn't say so, and if she didn't approve, she didn't say so...I was "just to know". In that way, she became more like my dad toward the end. He never really ever said he loved us kids. But his actions always came through, and the way he would smile at us - said more than his words. Or the way he would hold and knead our hands when walking. Or the way he smiled, as if a big secret was inside... Some things are just too difficult to say. Sometimes the words just get blocked by deeper feelings.

Perhaps that is why I write. To let people know it's OK to share, even if we do it silently, while chipping away at the rock, or leaving a vein of ink on parchment.

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (11-05-2003 03:16 PM).]

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

14 posted 2003-11-06 12:53 PM

Wow Karilea, this was so very moving. I could see it and feel it all. So yup, what Duncan said

I love the message left behind.

M

fate is not just
whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)

[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (11-06-2003 12:55 AM).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

15 posted 2003-11-06 06:42 AM

Maree, for me, feeling is very much a part of poetry. Sometimes, even more than ellipses. Thank you so much for spending some time on this one.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

16 posted 2003-11-06 12:44 PM

The anniversary of mine's last act comes next week... a movie watched from a shared bed... this touches me so deeply.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

17 posted 2003-11-08 10:19 AM

Ah, suthern. November 18th for me, which is the same day as my mother-in-law's birthday, and she will see 95 years. Such is life, yes?

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