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Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

0 posted 2003-10-28 03:12 AM

Sonnet X
on apathy

As I proceeded on my lonely path
  Out of the devil's shackles, on my way,
  Before my skin approached the heat of day
I felt the chill of a discordant wrath
That froze the pilgrims' feet, and held in place
  The heads of those who rather would advance
  Than whore their flesh unto the common trance
Of ignorance--Espous'd to me, one face
Defied my journey with such naked woe
  As I had learn'd myself to lay aside--
  But in my hope, her sadness did confide
Such that my pains likewise began to blow,
   And in her soul, I heard the muses dance
   Veiled only by device of circumstance.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2003-10-28 10:47 AM

"on apathy"
==============
you wrote a poem bout me

Before my skin approached the heat of day
I felt the chill of a discordant wrath
That froze the pilgrims' feet, and held in place
The heads of those who rather would advance
Than whore their flesh unto the common trance
Of ignorance--Espous'd to me, one face
Defied my journey with such naked woe
============================

How can one not feel the melancholy indifference in those clever lines of vocab and personification.

Of ignorance--Espous'd to me

ya get extra points for that line

Also noted-- the way you kept this low key to keep in line with the apathetic theme.
Well done me poet of complacent drudgery. *L*

So...when ya gonna indulge the moth and wow me with some free verse ala Brian?

You're the color of the sky reflected in each store-front window pane ...
You're the whispering and the sighing of my tires in the rain.

J. Browne

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2003-12-04 03:08 PM

I've actually been considering doing a bit of free verse lately... whenever I try it just doesn't seem right. I don't know. Like wearing a rented suit instead of the jacket I've worn for years. Call me traditional.

Anyways, thanks for reading, JM.

Brian

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

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