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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2003-10-20 12:54 PM


Today,
I would like to steal
your every word --
dissolve each syllable
in my mouth,
before one ever
takes to breath.

Shaped sounds contoured
as a river:
the Tigris burning
through the sand,
the solitude that
greets the Thames.
Churning strength of
Amazon.

In selfish satisfaction,
I'll take your words
beyond their meaning --
crack my way through
context's ceiling.
Little flecks of its glass
scatter through the sky.
(we call them stars)

In obeisance,
anticipated,
I will wait for you ...
Thieve my words, too --
snatch them away!
They are yours alone.

We'll rarely need an affirmation
of presence, holding strong.
Twin eyes, deepened, tangled
tributaries -- gathered travel --
poetry.

Unfathomable
to all
but us
and time.

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (10-20-2003 12:55 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
1 posted 2003-10-20 01:01 PM


Wow Mikey, this's one of my faves from you... the title is absolutely perfect, and is a good example of how important a title is capable of being to a poem.  It helped me interpret the structure and see what you meant by it.

You told me earlier that interpetation is up to the reader, and that meaning is something that's dependent on whatever one takes away from it.  You also said that you were really only interested in what the poem made your reader feel or think.  It seems like this is a poem about that ideology of yours... that language is something used to communicate more than language, more than meaning, and that you want to take every word of a person (this poem seems to be specific as to who that person is), and read more than their meanings, and you want them to do the same thing to yours---take your words and taste them, feel them, gather the full spectrum of their effect, beyond just their meaning.

I dunno, Mikey... you're way over my head most of the time, but I still love to read what you write.  Thanks for the answer.  

Brian

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
2 posted 2003-10-20 02:58 PM


mr. squirrel, you are so cool.  

I have to say that I absolutely love the first stanza of this... it reaches me, grabs me and holds me through the rest of this poem.  

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

3 posted 2003-10-20 03:43 PM


I had this whole long critique thing but I was stupid and lost it

so now I'll just have to say that I love it. you are amaizing squirrel...you really are.

What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall?
All walls are great, if the roof doesn't fall.
-yorke/bjork

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

4 posted 2003-10-21 12:08 PM


You're all too sweet. Much thanks.
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