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invisibility

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Riley
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since 07-18-2002
Posts 1122
in the pouring rain


0 posted 10-01-2003 09:43 PM       View Profile for Riley   Email Riley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Riley

been a while...heartache and pain....

i wake up reaching for your eyes that i see in front of me...
in the middle of the coldest nights your body is there
all my tears are falling for you as i smile through them
into my dirty mirror...it's filled with so many
shadows, i only wish

sleep comes to me haunting me with your image
in and out i fall every half hour is another blessing
your not there...therefore i feel alone, you'll never be there
therefore i am

staring at your words..tracing writing with my fingers
your lips are there with them, speaking each with precision...
i've always spiraled...you weren't ever around
got caught in myself...in my dirty mirror
only my reflection sees you with me

alone i see nothing beside me

but in my dreams...i can watch you while you sleep

now it all makes sense to you

i want to feel your arms around me...safe from the edges


if only once
** the hardest thing in life is to watch the one you love, love somebody else...especially when that person is your bestfriend **

* the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes *

[This message has been edited by Riley (10-01-2003 09:44 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


1 posted 10-15-2003 12:27 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

staring at your words..tracing writing with my fingers
your lips are there with them, speaking each with precision...
i've always spiraled...you weren't ever around
got caught in myself...in my dirty mirror
only my reflection sees you with me

==================================


hauntingly beautiful emotions expressed with a depth of longing and honesty that leaves the reader wanting to make the pain go away.
the poetic employ of the mirror worked well in this, powerful writing poetess Riley.

every time I talk to you its over too soon
every day feels incomplete till you walk into the room
just say the words, I'll jump that moon.

D.Gray

Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-2002
Posts 1122
in the pouring rain


2 posted 10-15-2003 12:32 PM       View Profile for Riley   Email Riley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Riley

janet marie- thank you so much for your kind words....ahhh the pain of being 14. liking the guy next door...its crazy..

thanks once again

ri

* the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes *

Local Parasite
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since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


3 posted 10-15-2003 03:38 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Riley,

I do like your attempt to pass on your experience and pain to your reader, but I think you should beware of your perspective a little bit.  

I wish you'd be more concrete.  The mirror could use some more detail, as could the person next to you.  My favourite thing about your writing is on vacation in this poem, but then again, cathartic poetry doesn't easily allow for interpretive value.

Hope all turns out for the better, Ri...

Brian

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

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