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Passions in Poetry

Ringlets of water spreading

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bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


0 posted 09-22-2003 02:38 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

Waist-
deep in water,
the summer is
the winter is the
summer sun rising
is the winter sun
setting?

Ripples it makes,
gently flowing
from skin to wave,
skin to wave, to
touch the face
of clarity, to
know the touch
of face.

Waist-
deep in water,
I eye my eyes
staring back at me
through water.
They are staring back
at me as two eyes'
reflections
staring back at me
would stare.

How they pool
and break away,
disrupted surface
distance.

The ripples are glowing rings,
smooth, undulate, powerful,
spreading far, in influence.
Smooth, sharp, slow, deep-
traveled glowing silence.

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (09-22-2003 02:49 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


1 posted 09-22-2003 03:04 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Like your words...the ripples reach out, touch, and then circle back home.

"If you feel heartbreak, distant thunder, lightning, earthquakes ...
If you wonder why the earth moves ... this is me missing you."

JH

Wind
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Member Elite
since 10-12-2002
Posts 3185


2 posted 09-22-2003 08:22 PM       View Profile for Wind   Email Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Wind

so...you cry and the teardrops make ripples. and they probably never stop, but how would I know. My reflections is too scary for me to watch. lol

And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!"
-Tool

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 07-25-2000
Posts 9136
Somewhere... out there...


3 posted 09-23-2003 01:18 AM       View Profile for vlraynes   Email vlraynes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit vlraynes's Home Page   View IP for vlraynes


Yes...what JM said...

rippling...touching...circling...

Very cool, Mikey... ...love this.

When the power of love overcomes the
love of power the world will know peace.
-Jimi Hendrix

bsquirrel
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since 01-03-2000
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4 posted 09-23-2003 02:21 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thanks, all. And Wind, I like your interesting interpretation.
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


5 posted 09-24-2003 12:46 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

Mikey:

first this:

the summer is
the winter is the
summer sun rising
is the winter sun
setting?

adore that, I do

and here:

I eye my eyes
staring back at me
through water.
They are staring back
at me as two eyes'
reflections
staring back at me
would stare.

a look inside from the outside from the inside out . . .

*smile*
xxoo

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


6 posted 09-24-2003 03:54 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

I was just recalling the slow travel of ripples made in a pool, how they collect the light and disperse at the far edge. Thanks, Sue.
Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


7 posted 09-24-2003 10:41 PM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

I love this piece, too..

"I eye my eyes
staring back at me
through water.
They are staring back
at me as two eyes'
reflections
staring back at me
would stare."

Sometimes the blatant is best.. This was really awesome to read - it has that.. haunting kind of aftertaste to it.

I'm probably the only one who found this; but I actually found it quite hard to figure out how to read the first piece.

"the summer is
the winter is the
summer sun rising
is the winter sun
setting?"

I was a bit unclear of the idea you were trying to get accross here.

**smiles**

Bless your cotten sockies, you poetic maniacs. ^_^

Love - Lynne

Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 06-07-2003
Posts 3888
where the wild flowers grow


8 posted 09-25-2003 08:35 AM       View Profile for Kaoru   Email Kaoru   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kaoru

I got it..

I love your different styles..so nice.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


9 posted 09-25-2003 01:25 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thanks, everyone. And Lynne, that was on purpose, to get the idea off the words immediately and into the flow -- sort of like the ringlets of water themselves. That's why there's so much gentle, insistent repetition and lack of explanation. Just letting the words radiate out without any special purpose other than to radiate out.
 
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