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Three Years
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Three Years |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden 
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Head in hands she wishes she could speak those words to make him understand. but she can't. Too hard, she thinks, too much pain hidden in the creases of emotion. She suffers. She wants him to listen to devote time to her but if the world is moving, they can't stand still. Time passed so quickly. Where did it go? How long was she here when you had gone? It was only one, two.. three years ago. Three. More than half of the fingers on her hand, the one she lifts so delicately to touch his face. How could he look at her and not know? Could he not see the truth hidden ridiculously in her face? She desires to tell him. Longs to listen to him. Suspects he just might understand and would never say sorry. Would he touch her face her hair, her tear stained cheeks and soothe her to sleep? Would he hold her for the next three years and the next, until the years blend together and she feels no more? |
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| © Copyright 2003 Allysa - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Ohh... That poem aches.. I love the idea in the last stanza - the only thing I would suggest is the last line ("and she feels no more?") - would she really feel 'no more'? Or would she just not ache anymore.. Because surely if he held her for all the three-years there were to come, she would love him for that long too?? Just a thought.  Bless your cotten sockies, you poetic maniacs. ^_^ |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
but if the world is moving, they can't stand still. gah you have a wonderful way of making me feel such anxiety and loss..really deep, so it makes you feel as if i am the person in yer writes. admittedly tho, god, i swear i am the 'she' in this write. Three. More than half of the fingers on her hand, love this part in particular, to me it says, almost half of myself lost Into my library girlie.  ~I wanna live, I wanna give, I've been a miner for a heart of gold~ Neil Young |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Actually, Yu Lan, now that I have reread it, it would make more sense for it to say "ache" instead of "feel" because certainly, if 'she' was held by 'him' for all the three years to come, she would love him. gem- it is true that sometimes the world is spinning too fast for anyone to sit still and simply absorb themselves in one specific thing... if it were possible to stop time, I would be the happiest person in the world. And anyone could be the 'she' in my poems.. anyone. |
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