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Passions in Poetry

Three Years

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Allysa
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Member Elite
since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


0 posted 09-19-2003 03:04 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Allysa

Head in hands
she wishes she could speak
those words to make him
understand.

but she can't.

Too hard, she thinks,
too much pain hidden in
the creases of emotion.
She suffers.

She wants him to listen
to devote time to her
but if the world is moving,
they can't stand still.

Time passed so quickly.

Where did it go?
How long was she here
when you had gone?
It was only one, two..
three years ago.

Three.
More than half
of the fingers on her hand,
the one she lifts so delicately
to touch his face.

How could he look at her
and not know?
Could he not see the truth
hidden ridiculously in her face?

She desires to tell him.
Longs to listen to him.
Suspects he just might understand
and would never say sorry.

Would he touch her face
her hair, her tear stained cheeks
and soothe her to sleep?

Would he hold her for
the next three years
and the next, until
the years blend together
and she feels no more?
© Copyright 2003 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


1 posted 09-24-2003 10:50 PM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

Ohh... That poem aches..

I love the idea in the last stanza - the only thing I would suggest is the last line ("and she feels no more?") - would she really feel 'no more'? Or would she just not ache anymore.. Because surely if he held her for all the three-years there were to come, she would love him for that long too?? Just a thought.

Bless your cotten sockies, you poetic maniacs. ^_^

Love - Lynne

gemjop
Member Elite
since 11-18-2002
Posts 2663
Pencilveinia, USA


2 posted 09-28-2003 02:13 PM       View Profile for gemjop   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for gemjop

but if the world is moving,
they can't stand still.

gah you have a wonderful way of making me feel such anxiety and loss..really deep, so it makes you feel as if i am the person in yer writes. admittedly tho, god, i swear i am the 'she' in this write.

Three.
More than half
of the fingers on her hand,


love this part in particular, to me it says, almost half of myself lost

Into my library girlie.

~I wanna live, I wanna give, I've been a miner for a heart of gold~  Neil Young

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


3 posted 09-30-2003 02:42 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

Actually, Yu Lan, now that I have reread it, it would make more sense for it to say "ache" instead of "feel" because certainly, if 'she' was held by 'him' for all the three years to come, she would love him.

gem- it is true that sometimes the world is spinning too fast for anyone to sit still and simply absorb themselves in one specific thing... if it were possible to stop time, I would be the happiest person in the world.  

And anyone could be the 'she' in my poems.. anyone.    
 
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