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Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

0 posted 2003-09-05 08:59 PM

i'm not one
to ask for
anything
but recently
with the change
of current thoughts
and messed up
circumstances
the picture
has gotten
to be a bit more clearer
not so vague
when i stare
into my mind
so i demand
no wait
more like ask
because
noone is obligated
to feeding my whims
but if you were
to be so kind
next time
when you
walk into my life
please turn off the lights...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

[This message has been edited by Ceinwyn (09-05-2003 09:49 PM).]

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2003-09-05 09:23 PM

oooh that last line is a kick in the chest...
perfect poetic impact...love those kind of endings.
Well done poetess K.

When was the last time you felt this high,
you are the best I've ever felt.
Its so wrong not to be with you
Its getting harder to stay away.

SH

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

2 posted 2003-09-05 09:59 PM

She shoots! She scores!
(ahhhhhhhh)
that is the crowd cheering . . .
*holding eye from punch*
that last line hurt . . .
NEVER waste electricity
shame on him
Beautiful, m'dear
as always
xxoo

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

3 posted 2003-09-05 10:13 PM

JM...always an honour to be graced with your presence!! thanks glad you enjoyed

Sue...silly goose!! lmao you made me laugh..thanks appreciate it..hrmm..lost for words..you know I thought it sucked but obviously not...even my rambles seem to make sense..we'll blame it on the pain killers

ohh I should request a paper bag over his head too..ya think?

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

4 posted 2003-09-05 10:36 PM

the last line, it is perfect. perfect

insanity is not a crime

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

5 posted 2003-09-06 12:56 PM

I agree with Miss Wind on that.. Perfection.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

6 posted 2003-09-06 03:29 PM

awesome and yes the ending..

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

7 posted 2003-09-06 08:19 PM

Ugh, he'll be back and we know it. yep, turn out the lights, give me some ear plugs?

Nice write Kris, just what i needed.

Instant karma's gonna get you.

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