Your form is definitely improving, Raph. I'm actually starting to like your poetry, as you're starting to introduce a unique element to it. You're learning style, and it's wonderful to see.
You might not want to start your poem with a cliche, though. I know first lines are a pain in the ass, so what I usually do is write an entire introductory stanza just to get myself going and refuse to care about its quality, then when I'm done, just scrap the whole damn thing. Hey, it works for me.
Haven't talked to you in a long time. Hope you're well, old dude.
Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.