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Nothing Left

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Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


0 posted 08-27-2003 11:01 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Allysa

She scraped against silence
it left her bloodied and bruised,
hushed, but not without words.

Your voice has grabbed her by her shoulders.

She left her life in your hands
again, paralyzed, she opens her mouth
to scream.

Choking on the swollen words,
she stumbles through your brambles,
thorny, twisted, conquered,
she smiles through it all.

Familiar.

It all was familiar to her,
somehow.

You never took the time to say goodbye
or even hello, for that matter
you simply latched on,
cursing her with you silent words.

She scraped against silence
on her way back to you
and her journey left her shattered.

Your tongue licked her bones,
in and out of each crack,
until you finally felt relief.

Starving, she searched for
a wholeness among the crows.

[This message has been edited by Allysa (08-28-2003 10:22 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 11-18-2002
Posts 7451
the ass-end of space


1 posted 08-28-2003 01:44 AM       View Profile for Aenimal   Email Aenimal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aenimal

No title coming to mind but this is excellent writing. nice flow and striking images!
gemjop
Member Elite
since 11-18-2002
Posts 2663
Pencilveinia, USA


2 posted 08-28-2003 10:12 AM       View Profile for gemjop   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for gemjop

Your tongue licked her bones,
in and out of each crack,


ooooh this is gritty. adoring this part. excellent way of making the reader feel she has nothing left of her own.

as for a title. pah, don't ask me, i'm rubbish at em, and end up writing random sentences/words that have nothing to do with the write.

gem xx

Instant karma's gonna get you.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


3 posted 08-28-2003 10:59 AM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

Good God Allysa  - you are brilliant
this is me:

Choking on the swollen words,
she stumbles through your brambles,
thorny, twisted, conquered,
she smiles through it all.

always
and here:

Your tongue licked her bones,
in and out of each crack,
until you finally felt full.

Starving, she searched for
a wholeness among the crows.


GODDDDD
powerful
xxoo

as for a title for some reason
"Dinner" came to mind, ya I know

[This message has been edited by littlewing (08-28-2003 11:01 AM).]

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


4 posted 08-28-2003 01:03 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

How about "She scraped against silence"? Poets have been hijacking their first line as titles for years.
 
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