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Passions in Poetry

Slipping between hour hands

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bsquirrel
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since 01-03-2000
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0 posted 08-25-2003 02:02 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

The stage is too clean and waiting for sweat,
the pound of rhythmic falls, sounding in union.
The shadows in old music thrown to the walls
are exercised nightly, forged by young energy.

The need to celebrate an end with a new beginning --
a simply told story finding truth in the dark.
The sensual unreeling, submitting to collapse.
Every breath your last ... until the next one passes.

Charged in the moment, breaking entropy.
Casting out doubt and killing off failure.
Slipping between hour hands, cleanly in step,
and never falling back. And yes. Oh, their giving!
© Copyright 2003 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Aenimal
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since 11-18-2002
Posts 7451
the ass-end of space


1 posted 08-25-2003 02:51 PM       View Profile for Aenimal   Email Aenimal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aenimal

Night club or concert hall?
been awhile since i've been to either, nice writing
bsquirrel
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2 posted 08-25-2003 03:24 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

That's two possibilities.
Allysa
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since 11-09-1999
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In an upside-down garden


3 posted 08-25-2003 04:29 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

A simply told story finding truth in the dark.

I love that line.

Nice pic... it looked like someone I know for a few moments..
Nicole
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since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


4 posted 08-25-2003 09:21 PM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

  I got a couple of really cool interpretations out of this one - that's one thing I love about your poetry, my mind can play with it like play doh.  heh  And this line?  "Slipping between hour hands, cleanly in step," LOVED it!

Nicole
fractal007
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since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


5 posted 08-26-2003 04:39 AM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fractal007

This was kinda cool.  I liked your "scientific" analysis of what appeared to me to be the act of dancing.  The clock/hand imagery was a nice touch, incoking both a sense of time and escape into timelessness.  On the whole, another great poem by you, imho.

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
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6 posted 08-26-2003 12:24 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thanks, everyone. As for the picture, the fright is completely staged.
 
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