I just plain don't like vents, I can't stop saying that and I can't get over it. Vents just make me sit back and think, well, this is therapy and about as interesting to me as reading someone else's doctor bill. I think that poetry is necessarily something a lot more than a few angry words. Sorry, Rhonda, I don't mean to offend you, I'm just making a general statement, because your critique message says you'd really like to improve.
I think that if you want to write something poetic, you should say something in a manner more than just ordinary language. Look into something and find a deeper truth. Exaggerate it a little, employ metaphor, take your poem places instead of just a few careless words... depth and substance are essential and getting over a breakup tends not to cut it...
Okay, that's just me being perfectly honest with you, and know that I do so out of respect, and not malice... I just think there's a lot that you're allowing yourself to miss out on, with poetry like this...
At any rate, thanks for helping out with the Sanctuary forum... it's nice to see your name in the replies, you're one of the people that help keep this place moving. It's so active lately that it's hard for me to keep up with everything, but I'm really trying...
Hoping to see more of you, here and otherwise.
Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.