"I'm writing a letter to no one," she explains
as her lips form the letters, her fingers graze the keys,
"In hopes that someone might take it personally
instead of lightly, or literally, or not at all.
If you heard me when I speak, your eyes could see
the pain etched into my mind,
my skin no longer cracks, my lips no longer ache
in the struggle to find the right words to say."
"Tired concepts drone on and on,
they weigh me down and strip my being,
small talk is all I'm good for anymore
my time consuming words have run short,
I spent them all yesterday not leaving time
for me to explain anything to you.
Internal deliberation occurs everytime before
I allow another sentence to slip by,
everything is intentional nowadays."
"I'm tired of these shaking hands,
of dropping everything I touch as it
all slips by my fingertips I'm too apathetic
to try and stop it from falling.
Carefully applying this mask everyday
I hide away until it becomes permanent,
until I can safely disappear and
never worry about bothering anyone."
"Truth is I'm deathly afraid of everything,
and I never asked for any pity from them
I never wanted to disrupt their thoughts
but the blatant truth is I'm afraid.
If anyone would take the time to look
through my stained-glass soul
they might come across the answer
written in the shadows of the wall
that will explain all you ever want to know."
"But for now, I don't have your answers.
Or maybe I just refuse your questions
admitting to you what you want to know
would mean sheding the skin I have come to love
and if I could, I would hide away
simple thoughts cannot disguise everything.
I cannot live to part with anything
so instead, I bare my soul."
(this feels slightly incomplete, but I can't seem to strip anything else from my mind at the moment, so take it for what it's worth.)
[This message has been edited by Allysa (08-08-2003 04:57 PM).]