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Passions in Poetry

She Burns Like a Bridge

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bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


0 posted 08-08-2003 01:38 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

She floats at inhale.
She breaks at exhale.
She burns of wet timber.
She flickers. She glows.
She wisps of a fire.
She cradles sharp petals.
She swoons in a flame.
She flares to a star.

She births one another.
She watches the water.
She tumbles the surface.
She scars in her smoke.
She trembles the edges.
She floats of white ashes.
She falls softly silts.
She lessens to drops.
© Copyright 2003 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


1 posted 08-08-2003 03:06 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

She floats at inhale.
She breaks at exhale.
She burns of wet timber.
She flickers. She glows.
She wisps of a fire.
She cradles sharp petals.
She swoons in a flame.
She flares to a star.

She births one another.
She watches the water.
She tumbles the surface.
She scars in her smoke.
She trembles the edges.
She floats of white ashes.
She falls softly silts.
She lessens to drops

========================


OMG!!!!!!!!!!
YOU ARE SOOOOOOO COOOOL!!!
I cant pick lines out...they all belong together...each a poetic entity of their own....in imagery, metaphor and personifi...but laced all together with your gift of assonance and you have penned a MOTH ANTHEM!!!

I LOVE THIS POEM.
She scars in her smoke.
She trembles the edges.
She floats of white ashes.
She falls softly silts.



*moth happy dance*  
you just blow me away sometimes...
I do so adore your poetic mind  



"How could I stand here with you and not be moved by you."

LH

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (08-08-2003 03:07 PM).]

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 02-15-2001
Posts 4465
Lurking


2 posted 08-08-2003 03:26 PM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

This is just absolutely brilliant, I have read it a couple of times and I just absolutely love it. Thanks for sharing this wonderful writing with us

Andy
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 11-18-2002
Posts 7451
the ass-end of space


3 posted 08-08-2003 07:06 PM       View Profile for Aenimal   Email Aenimal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aenimal

something in the way..what a gift

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (08-08-2003 07:06 PM).]

Wind
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Member Elite
since 10-12-2002
Posts 3185


4 posted 08-08-2003 07:08 PM       View Profile for Wind   Email Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Wind

this is what it's like to read poetry at it's best. this one for the library

insanity is not a crime

brian sites
Senior Member
since 06-25-2002
Posts 1500
usa


5 posted 08-09-2003 12:25 AM       View Profile for brian sites   Email brian sites   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian sites

smilin huge here

this is pure
Mike
Magic

awesome
wranx
Member Elite
since 06-07-2002
Posts 3778
Moved from a shack to a barn


6 posted 08-09-2003 01:38 AM       View Profile for wranx   Email wranx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wranx

Yep
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


7 posted 08-09-2003 08:05 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

She reads.
She weeps.
She sighs.
She smiles...
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


8 posted 08-09-2003 07:54 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thanks. Someone very close to me started smoking, and it's taken me a while to come to grips with it.
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


9 posted 08-11-2003 01:18 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Ahh your reply... I was thinking this was either a smoker or a cigarette.  It could very well be both, knowing you and your crazy boundless self-standard of poetry.  

I like the style and the flow of it, I would have liked a bit more meter but that's probably just my problem.  The ending was clever and a very unique image, which I'm used to getting from you.  Really nice work, this one...

Parasite

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


10 posted 08-11-2003 01:00 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thanks, LP. I think it feels incomplete, but that's the point of this one. (hence the title)
 
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