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littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York

0 posted 2003-08-08 04:25 AM


Have you ever felt
like a ball of dust?

raging maelstrom
burning blaze
cool blue jewel
amongst morning haze
deep sea green
grass in need of cut
a razor's edge
a knife that's blunt
the whipping wind
a bird in flight
the eye of sky
to brighten the night
searing heat
on a summer's eve
a tire flat
a piece of meat
no matter how hard
I try
I deny
me
to
you
see
can you still

f-e-e-e-l

me?





[This message has been edited by littlewing (08-08-2003 04:38 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Sue Eckam - All Rights Reserved
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
1 posted 2003-08-08 10:26 AM


Have you ever felt
like a ball of dust?

.....

I have, I have, my friend... in fact I am feeling like one right now...

a very fine write this one, Sue...

regards
sudhir

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
2 posted 2003-08-08 04:48 PM


This could not have been any more perfect... I feel this right now.   I hate feeling.
brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
3 posted 2003-08-09 12:29 PM


image jabs

oh yes

feeling
you

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
4 posted 2003-08-09 01:43 AM


Feeling it/you here Susie. This just about covers it, yes?


Ed

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
5 posted 2003-08-09 08:56 AM


This is just such a wonderful peice of poetry, I've read it a couple of times and I think I appreciate it more every time I read it.

Andy

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
6 posted 2003-08-09 03:36 PM


I felt like I had to reply again because I keep feeling compelled to revist this an read it over and over and over and over again...

in other words, I really really like it.

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
7 posted 2003-08-10 04:52 PM


I have susie.

me likes this muchly, for all it says and makes me feeeeeel.

Instant karma's gonna get you.

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
8 posted 2003-08-11 01:15 AM


I love how you take an image and then transform it as the reader moves down your poem.  For me it was image transforming into image, wind transforming into bird, etc... like a pink floyd video... hehe...

Terrific writing, Suzie... you have a way of surprising me with something unique and different that I somehow never thought of doing myself.  Ok, so that sounds vain, whatever...

Glad to have you sharing with us in Haven... thanks for your contribution!

Parasite

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
9 posted 2003-08-11 01:48 PM


Thank you Sudhir . . . *smile* for feeling this . . .

Allysa - me too, well a double edged sword indeed . . . thank you

Thank you Bri, you always do . . .

Ed . .  YES, it does . . . *smile*
thank you . . .

Thank you Andy . . . that means a lot to me

Allyssa . . . LOL you said you didnt like to feel . .  hmmmm  *smile*  thank you again

Hey Gem . . . I know you do and yes you feel moreso than the rest of us
thank you

Hey Brian, cool . . . yes I love to keep it flowing, I try to anyhow . . . and to surprise you , m'dear is an accomplishment in itself and that does not sound vain at all.  thank you . . .

Thanks guys for feeling . . .
and reading my . . . scattered thoughts?
xxoo

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

10 posted 2003-08-12 02:20 PM


Robert Smith should sing that (though he does sing some of it already).
Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
11 posted 2003-08-13 12:58 PM


I always feel like a ball of dust, it's rather interesting...

Awesome job The flow and rhythm is just about perfect, and it's one of those rare poems that I actually read out loud the second time just to get the entire feel of it. Great job!!

There's nothing like a good fight with a horse to put your problems into perspective

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
12 posted 2003-08-14 07:38 PM


Thanks Mikey . . . who is Robert Smith?

Sky - thank you so much - yes a ball of dust, I know . . . thank you

Thanks guys
xxoo

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