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Passions in Poetry

a visual presentation...lol

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Tramp Poet
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 786
Could Be Anywhere...


0 posted 08-02-2003 12:35 PM       View Profile for Tramp Poet   Email Tramp Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Tramp Poet's Home Page   View IP for Tramp Poet

Heart Shot

mama
whore
baby
slut
once
upon
smiling an innocent smile
to match smiling words
clever reassurance.
Spoke of promise
neverending
sacredness
true,true
tis love
really
love.
Along comes a slipperly evil sucubus , a carhop whore, evil slut
whispering sweet til it gets what it wants...
all the cash hidden in ones heart...
then spits you out... next !... waiting in line;
always the fool chasing, slave to putrid instant gratification...
What can
one do when
finally finding
and it bites them
sucks them dry of tears
voice horse from screaming
into the merciless uncaring night
“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME”
mama
whore
baby
slut
once
upon
you darkling you
heart shot never healing.


~~~~~~~~

  

[This message has been edited by Tramp Poet (08-02-2003 12:54 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Daniel James Burt - All Rights Reserved
Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 02-15-2001
Posts 4465
Lurking


1 posted 08-03-2003 04:28 PM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

Dark reading but I do like the presentation but you will have to enlighten me on just what it is that I'm looking at, great reading though, thanks for sharing it with us

Andy
Local Parasite
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Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


2 posted 08-09-2003 06:50 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

I'm also unsure what the presentation is supposed to represent.  It's obviously a distinct shape of some sort but it's difficult to determine what it's meant to be.

I think the presentation forced you into some nice word choices.  Neat how formatting can do that for poetry sometimes... enjoyed reading this, Tramp... share with us some more.

Parasite

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

Allysa
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since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


3 posted 08-09-2003 03:40 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

To me it appears to be a multisemetrical person, or a christmas tree ornament.  I never was very good with these guessing games..

This honestly reminds me of something a freind of mine might whisper in there sleep, which amazes me because you seem to have captured everything in its intirety.

Nice.
PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 08-30-99
Posts 1829
Aloha, Oregon


4 posted 08-09-2003 06:22 PM       View Profile for PhaerieChild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PhaerieChild

My interpretation at least of the shape of the writing is two arrows. One up, one down, squeezing a heart of all emotion. Since I know where this is borne I shall say no more other than I cry with you Dan. Love and Hugz, Your Sister, Shawna
Tramp Poet
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 786
Could Be Anywhere...


5 posted 08-10-2003 09:47 AM       View Profile for Tramp Poet   Email Tramp Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tramp Poet's Home Page   View IP for Tramp Poet

obviously...as with all poetry it is entirely up to one's own interpetation...
isn't that the jewell of poetry...the ability to make it unique and personal?
anyhoo...yes dear sister as usual you know me! the representation is of past and present with both arrows shot into the center of one's heart. lol perhaps a bit too oblique?
thanks to y'all for the input...appreciated!
 
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