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Passions in Poetry

tombtree in winter

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brian sites
Senior Member
since 06-25-2002
Posts 1500
usa


0 posted 08-01-2003 01:20 AM       View Profile for brian sites   Email brian sites   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for brian sites


ink tree

   on paper sky

the rain
    runs
turns
         hands gray

no bird
blesses
nor
          hears
            it's voice

it sings only

    to the ink stone
        bled
     down
to it's base

memory's tablet
etched
with drying shadow
© Copyright 2003 brian sites - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


1 posted 08-01-2003 06:58 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

ink tree

   on paper sky
======================

oh.. I love that image.....
I have a b&w pic of just that...
you nailed it with 5 words...
very cool poet sir.

"How could I stand here with you and not be moved by you."

LH

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


2 posted 08-01-2003 07:38 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

sculpting again...

This is beautiful bri...

I want to draw this now.

sighs and kisses.
Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 10-12-2002
Posts 3185


3 posted 08-01-2003 09:58 AM       View Profile for Wind   Email Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Wind

wow...I realy can't say anything

insanity is not a crime

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


4 posted 08-01-2003 01:02 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Beautiful and desolate, yet imbued.
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 07-25-2000
Posts 9136
Somewhere... out there...


5 posted 08-01-2003 02:10 PM       View Profile for vlraynes   Email vlraynes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit vlraynes's Home Page   View IP for vlraynes


Brian...you truly are an artist,
and this?...a amazing work of art.

I love how you always 'show' me,
rather than 'tell' me...

Love this, Brian.

"My friends are my estate."
~Emily Dickinson

Nicole
Senior Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


6 posted 08-01-2003 09:33 PM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

Such beautifully descriptive simplicity.  I enjoyed the image this painted.  It made me think of an artist in a Japanese garden.  
brian sites
Senior Member
since 06-25-2002
Posts 1500
usa


7 posted 08-02-2003 12:26 AM       View Profile for brian sites   Email brian sites   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian sites

thank you everybody
wranx
Member Elite
since 06-07-2002
Posts 3778
Moved from a shack to a barn


8 posted 08-02-2003 02:35 AM       View Profile for wranx   Email wranx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wranx

Like Nicole said....Japanese caligraphy.

Nice, nice, nice!


Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 02-15-2001
Posts 4465
Lurking


9 posted 08-02-2003 10:53 AM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

Wonderful writing Brian, I truly enjoyed reading this beautiful poem  

Andrew

[This message has been edited by Marshalzu (08-02-2003 10:53 AM).]

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 11-18-2002
Posts 7451
the ass-end of space


10 posted 08-02-2003 03:43 PM       View Profile for Aenimal   Email Aenimal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aenimal

it sings only

    to the ink stone
        bled
     down
to it's base

bloody brilliant through and through
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


11 posted 08-08-2003 03:37 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

I like the greyness of the rain on the paper sky... perfect, how you slowly described the paper being stained grey by the rain, the "drying shadow" defacing the beautiful tree of ink and giving it a new permanent form...

I often have a hard time appreciating your poetry but this time, it wasn't the case at all... I believe I felt this in its full.  Thanks for sharing with us, Mr. Sites.

Parasite

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


12 posted 08-08-2003 03:58 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Why in the world
did the image of
Citizen Kane come
to mind?

Oh never mind, now
you've got me rambling
questions to myself...

If I keep reading you
enough, pretty soon
you'll have me singing
like serenity...

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


13 posted 08-08-2003 04:26 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

For what it's worth, I liked this.  I can feel it from the first line to the very last.
 
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