How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Sanctuary
 Poetic Haven
 scotch on the rocks...
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Poet deVine, Martie   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

scotch on the rocks...

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 07-09-2000
Posts 2238
Baltimore, MD


0 posted 07-30-2003 12:51 AM       View Profile for Ceinwyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Ceinwyn

stars overflow
from this paper cup
dreams commanding
the helm of my thoughts
tears numbing
the open wounds
it has been lifetimes
i swore...
i mean i thought...
i was over you
emotion
was never my best subject
in school
nor was actually
facing you...
fire is my element
yet i prefer
scotch on the rocks
to tell you & your memory
to *censor* off


If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

[This message has been edited by Ceinwyn (07-30-2003 01:00 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Kristen Brandon - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


1 posted 07-30-2003 07:05 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

stars overflow
from this paper cup
dreams commanding
the helm of my thoughts
===========================
fire is my element
yet i prefer
scotch on the rocks
to tell you & your memory
to *censor* off
======================

love the imagery in this...the surreal essence of it..till you hit the reality of the last lines...perfect use of impact to close this out.
well done poetess


"How could I stand here with you and not be moved by you."

LH

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 02-15-2001
Posts 4465
Lurking


2 posted 07-30-2003 05:01 PM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

I loved the imagery and the language that you used, I really enjoyed reading it

Andy
Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 12-27-2000
Posts 5766
Riding


3 posted 08-03-2003 05:42 PM       View Profile for Skyfire   Email Skyfire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfire

You know what? I really like this. The way that you conveyed everything into a neat little package is just awesome Great job!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


4 posted 08-03-2003 06:26 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Ceinwyn!  You attended a school
that taught emotion?
Do they sell courses via mail?

Excellent write!
gemjop
Member Elite
since 11-18-2002
Posts 2663
Pencilveinia, USA


5 posted 08-03-2003 07:55 PM       View Profile for gemjop   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for gemjop

Hell yeah, couldn't have said it better. grrrrrrrr, ugh, people eh?

Instant karma's gonna get you.

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


6 posted 08-06-2003 01:20 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

This is one of those "to my ex" poems that I tend not to care about, but I don't want to let that ruin it for me.  I like how you opened the poem, an unusual couple of words, nice imagery there.

As for the ending, why do you want to push away memory when it's all you have left?  I think the good memories should be embraced, not cast aside just because they happen to reflect something that no longer can be.  Eh, just my two cents...

Nice write...

Parasite

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


7 posted 08-06-2003 06:24 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

I like how you crack the poem in the head at the end. "Take that," the words say.
 
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Sanctuary >> Poetic Haven >> scotch on the rocks... Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors