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classic innocence
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classic innocence |
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Riley 
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain 
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well i have had a writers block and this is the lastest....tell me what ya think.... Shredded pieces of a past lay scattered across eyes That searched a haunted room for her soul Her rags got caught on jagged metal Sticking out from the cold hands she trusted Now as the blood runs down her spine Into her mouth from the ceiling fan All she can do is laugh, for the taste is enjoyable. Thick and luscious, she drinks with a thirst That cannot be quenched. It’s an unavoidable hate that rests deep within Rain that pours down outside her window *the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time* [This message has been edited by Riley (07-29-2003 12:38 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
(resists the urge to sing) To quote someone who responded to a poem of mine, this fits in with the song I'm listening to. A little scary if you ask me...it was chilling. ok bunny.. insanity is not a crime |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
niceeee and DARK Riley I liked it... I used to write things like this hmmm.. maybe I should do it again veryvivid  |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
wind- resisting the urge to sing, whats that? glad you enjoyed brian sites- thanks a lot for replying... riley *the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time* |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
umm not bad for writer's block....I like dark...dark isss very very goooood  If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
cein: thanks a lot...yes dark is lovely * the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes * |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
ah ha! i have just read you in open, and i see there are more delights to be found in your name...dark..mmmm good..me likesssss. Instant karma's gonna get you. |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
dark is my specialty this week ( more like year ) thankies a lot :hug: riley * the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes * |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Dark and scary, ah! But I think that this is about the loss of innocence.. a harsh and painful thing to lose indeed. And when it is lost, things *are* dark and scary, so it all fits! Good job! Oh, make me Thine forever |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
lovebug: thank you for your kind words and taking the time to reply. it is much appreciated..... riley * the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes * |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Again, I love how your title relates to your poem as a whole. Classic innocence, the child laughing despite the blood dripping into her mouth (from the ceiling fan? eww!), as usual a powerful and creative image. You always give my mind something new to do. Thanks for sharing this one with us, Ri, you crazy little girl you...  Bri  Faith is a fine invention |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Bri: crazy would be me....dark crazy helpless...oh this sounds good  lol  riley * the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes * |
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Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
*****Time For A Muppet News Flash***** Today, a poet on the PIP web site cleared the block that had been tormenting him. Sources tell us that he has done an excellent job and is to be commended. News at 11. We are all equal but we’re individually different |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great writing Riley, I understand how hard it is to have writers block but this is just fantastic Andy |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Ringo and Zu: thank you both so much for replying...it means a lot. riley * the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes * |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Like a combination of Crash (glass 'n' blood) and Apocalypse now (rotors 'n' confusion). 'notherwords: |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
bsquirrel- thank you alot * the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes * |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
heh..came back to read it again. LP's reply made me crack up. I can imagine him saying in a girly voice "eewww" haha..my thoughts are strange. insanity is not a crime |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
It is good to see that you have overcome your writer's block. And wonderfully, too. |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
wind- your thought are not stange just VERY different ( i swear i am insane ) allysa-thank you for replying * the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes * |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
It's things like this that make me doubt the existence of writer's block at all. I'm a sucker for past-looking and super weird imagery...*sighs contentedly* Glad you shared this. ~Carly "How inimitably graceful children are in general before they learn to dance!" |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
carly- thanks much for the compliments, glad you enjoyed! ri * the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes * |
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