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Passions in Poetry

Coo Coo

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Marshalzu
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since 02-15-2001
Posts 4465
Lurking


0 posted 07-18-2003 05:53 PM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

"Coo Coo"

"Coo Coo" the bird didn't say
as it lay
on the ground
not making a sound
with a headache all over
from Calais to Dover
it's brains in a puddle of blood

it's all good
because dead pigeons are'nt missed
or spotty boys kissed
in this vision of bliss
that is life

Ok, so its not so good but I have had a bit of trouble writing lately and the only thing that I can get worked up about is a dead pigeon and even then I have to be in a certain "mood" to write about it.

Andy


Rawr, rawr, rawr


[This message has been edited by Marshalzu (07-18-2003 09:18 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved
Child of the Stars
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1 posted 07-18-2003 05:59 PM       View Profile for Child of the Stars   Email Child of the Stars   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Child of the Stars

Haha, at least it's something, Zu. Watch your it's and its, though. Very morbidly cute. Good luck with writing...this too shall pass...

  ~Carly

empty arms
and half a soul to go
                     -el sol
                        --Zwan

Marshalzu
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2 posted 07-18-2003 09:19 PM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

Thanks Carly
Local Parasite
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since 11-05-2001
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Transylconia, Winnipeg


3 posted 07-19-2003 07:30 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

It can be hard, Mr. Zu, but I have a bit of advice for you anyways... when you can't write poetry, try reading it?  Study some classic poets of old, find one you like, learn how he or she wrote poetry and try to see from that perspective.  It's not copying.  It's developing your technique.

I think writer's block tends to be a result of our uncertainty with the actual process of writing, as in we forget the steps necessary...

Start taking notes on your thoughts.  Eventually you'll start taking notes in similies, metaphors, maybe even meter and rhyme.  You'll even start seeing your tiny observations meld together in patterns.  

Draw out those patterns and you'll have a poem.  That's how I do it sometimes, anyways...

This poem is neat, I especially like the start and especially dislike the ending.  You could have gone full-circle and given it more specific meaning than a vague shrugging three words that you left it off with.

At any rate, thanks for sharing with the Sanctuary bunch, m'friend.

Parasite

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

Skyfire
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4 posted 07-20-2003 02:06 AM       View Profile for Skyfire   Email Skyfire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfire

Okay, I'm sorry, but I started laughing hysterically when I read "it's all good"... I think I need to introduce a new catch phrase into my vocabulary if reading it in a poem made me laugh like that.
ANYway, I'm glad you're still able to write about dead pidgeons at least. I'm with LP on this one... do some reading, you know you're just looking for an excuse to read some talent instead of my illogical stuff all the time (my ego is about THISBIG right now lol). Good luck to you on this one, I know how it is to try and get through writers block

... Even though you're gone ...

vlraynes
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since 07-25-2000
Posts 9136
Somewhere... out there...


5 posted 07-20-2003 02:57 AM       View Profile for vlraynes   Email vlraynes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit vlraynes's Home Page   View IP for vlraynes


Hey there, Andrew.

Well, I'll be honest...when I first saw the title,
I thought this might be a poem about a mutual
friend of ours...*looks up at Rhonda*

But then...I read the poem, and guess what?  I like it.
It's catchy...it's unique..and I enjoyed reading it.

I can certainly relate to writer's block.  I am just
now starting to write again, after a VERY long dry spell.
Just ask coo coo...er...I mean Rhonda. ..she knows.

Anyway...I do hope to see more from you soon, and
LP and Rhonda have given you some good advice...
if ya can't beat 'em...read 'em.

Well done, Andrew.  

"it is better to be a part of beauty
for one instant and then cease to
exist than to exist forever
and never be a part of beauty"
-- Don Marquis

[This message has been edited by vlraynes (07-20-2003 02:59 AM).]

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