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Passions in Poetry

a submission

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Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-2002
Posts 1122
in the pouring rain


0 posted 06-28-2003 05:24 PM       View Profile for Riley   Email Riley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Riley


tears streak across my face, wandering from my eyes
onto the worn out pages of the life i have lived
the pen i hold in trembling fingers
defiying my mind, it swirves in time with the music
all the voices of the past i had forgotten
a picture emerges from the contours of my page
and the crests silently fall up and down
on my fingers now, a long black streak that erased my thoughts
as i only wish i could be erased so easily
yet still my pen moves, pouring out all i had forgotten
my emotions let free on the grimy pages
stained with my blood and tears
and you don't realize how you do anything
but stare into the distance, thats all but a reality
for your fingers to trace over my words
and reflect on the times i was hiding inside of myself
within the creases of yours lies, there on a paper in front of me
i erase my stains with one word
and go on to fill my time with the pen and paper i hold steady in front of me
and all i see is you

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

© Copyright 2003 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


1 posted 06-28-2003 06:18 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

all the voices of the past i had forgotten
a picture emerges from the contours of my page
and the crests silently fall up and down
on my fingers now, a long black streak that erased my thoughts

====================================
and you don't realize how you do anything
but stare into the distance, thats all but a reality
for your fingers to trace over my words
and reflect on the times i was hiding inside of myself
within the creases of yours lies, there on a paper in front of me
i erase my stains with one word
and go on to fill my time with the pen and paper i hold steady in front of me
and all i see is you

====================================

this is AMAZING...
the depth of emotion is nearly suffocating..
the angst is palpable...
outstanding expression poetess Riley...truly.

All I can feel is this distance between you and me.
I can say I love you but I can't make you believe me
because touching is believing.

c.j.

Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-2002
Posts 1122
in the pouring rain


2 posted 06-28-2003 10:14 PM       View Profile for Riley   Email Riley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Riley

Janet Marie: I can't thank you enough for the kind compliments..........I would like to submit this for something, but I wanted to get some thoughts on it first...thanks again Janet...


Riley

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


3 posted 07-13-2003 01:38 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

One thing I always like about your writing, Riley, is your ability to always make a thought-provoking and significant title.  A lot of people (such as myself) lack that ability, and you should be very proud of yourself for it.

Like Janet, I have to say I love the way you formed your thoughts here, your unique grasp of language and imagery really shines in this piece... the ending took me off guard, but I very much liked it, it brought the whole poem into the title and completed your thoughts beautifully...

Hope everything's okay with you Ri.  Much love, girlie--

Brian
Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-2002
Posts 1122
in the pouring rain


4 posted 07-13-2003 07:34 PM       View Profile for Riley   Email Riley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Riley

bri....

thank you so much for how nice you are....i was waiting for your thoughts on this, as i can always count on them. i am glad you liked it, as always i enjoyed your comments...


riley

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

timothysangel1973
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 12-03-2001
Posts 1749
Never close enough


5 posted 07-17-2003 01:39 AM       View Profile for timothysangel1973   Email timothysangel1973   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit timothysangel1973's Home Page   View IP for timothysangel1973

Great write Riley!

"the pen i hold in trembling fingers
defiying my mind, it swirves in time with the music
all the voices of the past i had forgotten"

I loved that line!

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 07-25-2000
Posts 9136
Somewhere... out there...


6 posted 07-17-2003 01:53 AM       View Profile for vlraynes   Email vlraynes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit vlraynes's Home Page   View IP for vlraynes


Riley...wow...you never cease to amaze me with your talent.
You write with the depth of a poet 3 times your age,
and you do it beautifully.
Yet another excellent write from you...I enjoyed.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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