How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Sanctuary
 Poetic Haven
 The Bad Hour
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Poet deVine, Martie   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

The Bad Hour (Duet by Littlewing and Local Parasite)

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


0 posted 06-28-2003 03:36 AM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for littlewing


Awake, my soul from slumber deep
My skin still stained from amber touch
Echoes in a chamber deaf
My flesh entangled in a web
Of rusted dreams and reality
Lived within this peaceful slumber  
  
Thine eyes wide open from thy slumber
Hearkened from a restless deep
Creak of bone-crushing reality  
Knawing through this painful touch  
Skeleton fraying through this web
Screaming to the living deaf

Somewhere beneath the river of deaf
Faces with eyelids sewn shut doth slumber
Some sick arachnoid queen whose web
Outlived her, left her spirit buried deep
Beneath victorious chants that, with each touch
Impress faster her cords with a blind reality

She cackles, that this tortured, false reality
So prostrate before her eludes the lips of those deaf
Who shun their eyelids from the sunlight's touch,
Curl into their chains, smile to a daily slumber
Of cotton dungeons--light, however deep,
A comfortable easiness in her deceptive web

Tears, like rain, caught within her web
Cleansing stark reality
Laborous song from within this deep
Crying agony to ears long deaf
No longer eyes blind within slumber
Now opened wide by gentle touch  
  
By loving hand and with this touch
Silken strands of fraying web    
Break, one by one, her slumber
Deep, blue waters rush upon reality    
Soothing one who once was deaf    
Emerges slowly from the deep    

My soul, reality has brought her from slumber
Before thee--gently touch her lips, kiss them deep -
Then cast her deaf, empty corpse back against her own waiting web.
© Copyright 2003 Sue Eckam - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


1 posted 06-28-2003 04:35 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

cackling...what is this? sestina fever?

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeloveit?

ye have pleased the witch!

oh mightily too.

(gimme a sec to get over myself)

but this?

made me shudder/weep/dizzy:

"Of cotton dungeons--light, however deep,
A comfortable easiness in her deceptive web"


oooooh. cold place that is...

and? I'm not going back.

can I get a hug from BOTH of you?

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


2 posted 06-28-2003 07:01 AM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

Hahaha I heard that eeeeeeeeee . . .
HUG HUG HUG Ok Brians turn
(like I have to force him to yeah ok)

Karen this was your sinister deed
in the first place Lady and now
numbers have invaded my every thought

Thank you . . .

Glad to have pleased you

and yes Brian is quite amazing now, isnt he?  

xxoo

[This message has been edited by littlewing (06-28-2003 07:01 AM).]

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


3 posted 06-28-2003 08:55 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


Well, this takes duality to a new level...
smiling at both of you!
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


4 posted 06-28-2003 03:49 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

My skin still stained from amber touch

Echoes in a chamber deaf

Somewhere beneath the river of deaf
Faces with eyelids sewn shut doth slumber
Some sick arachnoid queen whose web
Outlived her, left her spirit buried deep
Beneath victorious chants that, with each touch
Impress faster her cords with a blind reality

She cackles, that this tortured, false reality
So prostrate before her eludes the lips of those deaf
Who shun their eyelids from the sunlight's touch,
Curl into their chains, smile to a daily slumber
Of cotton dungeons--light, however deep,
A comfortable easiness in her deceptive web


================================

WHOA...talk about imagery and verbiage ...
damn this is a very cool write...
you guys have some very powerful lines and images in this...so stark and vividly surreal with a dark serrated edge to it.
And as if dueting isnt hard enough...you two take on such a difficult structured format..
very impressive!
Excellent offering to the challenge poets.

All I can feel is this distance between you and me.
I can say I love you but I can't make you believe me
because touching is believing.

c.j.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


5 posted 06-29-2003 02:55 AM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

Thank you Karilea . . . it was a pleasure to write (well not the work itself - those numbers . . .)  

Janet - thank you so much - Brian was a huge help - I wouldnt have finished it if he didnt take the reins
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


6 posted 06-29-2003 07:49 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Ahhhh a great write both of you, dark and mysterious.

Enjoyed very very much.

adding to my library.

Maree
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


7 posted 06-30-2003 08:32 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

Thank you Maree
Am honored that you have read indeed
xxoo
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


8 posted 07-13-2003 01:31 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

YOU, Suzie, are a rising star in the poetry world, you know that?  

Thanks everyone for your responses, and thanks especially to you, Suzie, for the experience of not only writing with you but finding a new and valuable friend.  Hopefully we'll work together again one day.  Next time you're at a loss for a next stanza, send what you got to me and I'll follow you up, hehe...

Much love to all of you,
Brian

Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

wranx
Member Elite
since 06-07-2002
Posts 3778
Moved from a shack to a barn


9 posted 07-13-2003 05:26 PM       View Profile for wranx   Email wranx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wranx

Well done
Well crafted

A thing of dark beauty

Ed
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


10 posted 07-13-2003 09:22 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

awww Brian - you are so sweet . . .
Thanks to you I am learning much
and you better believe next time I try to take on one of Karen's insane requests,
you will be called upon indeed
I will always be your friend
xxoo

Thank you Ed - it is dark isnt it?
Ahhh nicely dark - just as you noted

Thanks guys
xxoo

[This message has been edited by littlewing (07-13-2003 09:22 PM).]

timothysangel1973
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 12-03-2001
Posts 1749
Never close enough


11 posted 07-17-2003 02:31 AM       View Profile for timothysangel1973   Email timothysangel1973   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit timothysangel1973's Home Page   View IP for timothysangel1973

Wonderful write Sue and Brian....

on it's way to the library!

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


12 posted 07-17-2003 12:41 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

Thanks Tima - this is a sestina which I vow to never ever attempt again . . .
eor
Senior Member
since 09-26-2002
Posts 968
blues & greys


13 posted 11-10-2003 01:13 AM       View Profile for eor   Email eor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for eor

i really like this one, sestinas our my goal for the moment so well see, but you def. gave me some inspration!

"For those who understand you, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, none is possible."

Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 06-07-2003
Posts 3888
where the wild flowers grow


14 posted 11-10-2003 04:14 AM       View Profile for Kaoru   Email Kaoru   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kaoru

This is...magnificent...both of you are, as well.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


15 posted 11-10-2003 11:07 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

A wonderful work of art...building one on the other into a whole...much enjoyed!!
Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 04-03-2001
Posts 2735
Georgia


16 posted 11-13-2003 12:52 PM       View Profile for Brad Majors   Email Brad Majors   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Brad Majors

wonderfully written
Tequilia_Sunrise
Senior Member
since 02-19-2003
Posts 618
Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada


17 posted 07-08-2004 12:14 AM       View Profile for Tequilia_Sunrise   Email Tequilia_Sunrise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tequilia_Sunrise

great imagery
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-23-2003
Posts 7179
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass


18 posted 09-30-2006 09:37 AM       View Profile for Ratleader   Email Ratleader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ratleader's Home Page   View IP for Ratleader

Masterful, that's the word....this poem hits hard. Any site would be proud to have a member who produces work like this. To have two, whose voices blend so, honors Passions.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________
 
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Sanctuary >> Poetic Haven >> The Bad Hour Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors