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ocean :=: life
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ocean :=: life |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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decorated with lines of empty vessels floating by like idle pastimes with no passengers only loads and loads of parcel deliveries some marked returned to sender the ocean is wide but with fragile waves in paper-boat dreams |
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| © Copyright 2003 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
the ocean is wide but with fragile waves in paper-boat dreams interesting mix of image here..the reader expecting the paper boat to be fragile... yet you present the waves as the fragile part and paper boats as dreams.. one could conclude from this that the dreams are even more fragile than the ocean waves...that exist in the dreams.. which logically makes sense.. but the reader has to stop and think about it before it is clear... it is the dream itself that is fragile and subject to the waves it itself has created... you move here in a sprial that could lead to a chicken or egg argument for what is the first dependency.... but the short imagery and words.. including the return to sender... seem to say it is doomed in some ways to always fall short of the ideal no matter what the root dependency is... nice piece of work S... I enjoyed. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thanks my friend for your wonderful and detailed response... Glad you liked... regards sudhir |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Here you are! I have been looking for something of yours Sudhir, and every time I do it never disappoints me. This was truly a masterful piece. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
gee, thanks Sharon...  regards sudhir |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I don't know, I think I thought too much about the title, because the "paper-boat dreams" to me were dreams that will float one day but will sink another, the "fragile waves" are the elements of life that seem tall and striking but will one day be nothing like they are, just a stillness on the dead water. Empty vessels with nothing but parcels, some marked "return to sender," well that part I'm not so sure of... This isn't an easy read, but you seldom are, Sudhir. I appreciate being made to think, though... it's a happy change from a lot of the things I read nowadays. Very nicely written. Parasite Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Sudhir - you do amaze me with the ease of which you write . . . this is peaceful in its loneliness reminded me of being driftwood - floating but tossed about constantly amazing xxoo |
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