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Passions in Poetry

In Salt and Dark Stars ( duet with Bsquirrel)

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Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


0 posted 06-24-2003 08:50 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Dark Angel


In Salt and Dark Stars


The sun had just set behind the kedros trees
I let my hands fall amongst the bulge of roots
and watched how the forest became nubile
wrapped in mystery.

The phantasmal fog cut in; creeping silently
through branches and leaves left speechless
with the wilderness of foam.

The sea did not flee with the sun you see
it rose its belly to the surf;
cresting through small sluicing stones.

The waves fell forward in deep breaths
lashing long against the shore
pulling out, pushing on
in salt and dark stars.

They held me in the pause of night
full of water and silvery fish
the woman in me a cry of birds
heavy with abandon.

A small fire cast ghostly shades.
Its violet light swam in the sand
where it burned in smokey hues.
Clotted clouds, the rippling tide.

I walked the shore; the dusky surf
broke against a leaning pier
green and brown under the night.
Moonlight glowing through the fog.

With waves of wintered memories
my shoulders cried a thousand words
and the sea-spray gave
my applause.
  

Bsquirrel and Dark Angel
06/24/03


[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (06-24-2003 09:22 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


1 posted 06-24-2003 08:54 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


I have been waiting for this!  I'm glad I was patient, because GOOD things come to those who wait....

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


2 posted 06-24-2003 09:25 AM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

yes... good thing indeed...and more than worth the wait..
Bravo you two!!!

Now.. other than that..I don't have words to give this the accolades it deserves... so just know I thought it extremely well done... and filled with the talents of both.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


3 posted 06-24-2003 09:59 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

and watched how the forest became nubile
wrapped in mystery.

The phantasmal fog cut in; creeping silently
through branches and leaves left speechless
with the wilderness of foam.

The sea did not flee with the sun you see
it rose its belly to the surf;
cresting through small sluicing stones.

The waves fell forward in deep breaths
lashing long against the shore
pulling out, pushing on
in salt and dark stars.
===========================

A small fire cast ghostly shades.
Its violet light swam in the sand
where it burned in smokey hues.
Clotted clouds, the rippling tide.

I walked the shore; the dusky surf
broke against a leaning pier
green and brown under the night.
Moonlight glowing through the fog.

With waves of wintered memories
my shoulders cried a thousand words
and the sea-spray gave
my applause.
  
======================================

OH YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A duet of divine poet minds!!!!!
I have sooooo been waiting for this.

And just how is a moth in love with the ocean ever supposed to pick fave lines..
this is such a gorgeous, surreal write you guys...so much to worship properly....
the imagery..the personification..the alliterations ...the assonance...
I AM GIDDY.

VERY VERY COOL dueting Maree and Mike...
take a bow..this is superb.  

and Mikey? come back and play in poetry land..the moth misses your poetry.

All I can feel is this distance between you and me. I can say I love you but I can't make you believe me because touching is believing.

cj

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (06-24-2003 10:00 AM).]

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


4 posted 06-24-2003 10:37 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Maree and Mike

Fabulous use of words, imagery, emotive power...so lovely to read you two.  Encore!!
Jamie
Member Elite
since 06-26-2000
Posts 3219
Blue Heaven


5 posted 06-24-2003 12:24 PM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

My jealousy gets in the way of saying how well you two write together.

Hugs Mmy and ^5 to the bushy tailed rodent  

J

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


6 posted 06-24-2003 05:10 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Sunshinygirl, Cpat, Janet Marie, Martie and Jamie.....Thank you all so very much for your kind replies and your lovely compliments.

It was a real pleasure dueting with Mike and I am honoured to have had the opportunity; so thank you Mike for allowing me, and for being patient with my absent-most-of-the-time muse. Ive got to teach her some manners me thinks.  

If ever you would like to duet again (if Im lucky) just say Jump and Ill say..How High?

[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (06-24-2003 05:11 PM).]

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 11-18-2002
Posts 7451
the ass-end of space


7 posted 06-25-2003 12:55 AM       View Profile for Aenimal   Email Aenimal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aenimal

At long last the wait is over..grins
A long anticipated duet from 2 of my favourite poets..what more could i ask? Stunningly beautiful, great work guys!
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


8 posted 06-25-2003 02:13 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

I had a great time with this, Maree. You have my e-mail, if'n you ever want to continue this partnership.

Thanks, all.
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


9 posted 06-25-2003 08:22 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

my shoulders cried a thousand words . . .

I am gazing in awe
at this beauty
before my eyes
the both of you
have so selflessly placed
xxoo
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


10 posted 06-26-2003 07:34 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

This is exquisite stuff... wonderful you two ...

regards
sudhir
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-23-2003
Posts 7179
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass


11 posted 06-26-2003 08:23 PM       View Profile for Ratleader   Email Ratleader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ratleader's Home Page   View IP for Ratleader

A powerful piece of writing -- E-ticket ride! You two are a good pair, and I hope you du-it again.....

~~(>   ~~(>  ~~( >    ~~~(ER>
______________Ratleader______________

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


12 posted 06-30-2003 09:49 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

I'm fortunate... I didn't know a duet was in the process so I wasn't watching the clock... but this would have been worth waiting for! *S* Excellent collaboration! *S*
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


13 posted 07-13-2003 01:18 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Nicely written, you two.  I know what to expect from Mikey's work, but I'm reasonably new to you, Maree... overall this is a rather nice piece of poetry, lots of imagery and abstract meaning packed somewhere inside all the flashy vocabulary...

You did an excellent job... thanks for sharing.

Parasite

Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

wranx
Member Elite
since 06-07-2002
Posts 3778
Moved from a shack to a barn


14 posted 07-13-2003 05:23 PM       View Profile for wranx   Email wranx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wranx

Gads! I've gotta get to poetic haven more often...

A stirring write.

Please accept MY applause.


Ed
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-23-2003
Posts 7179
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass


15 posted 09-29-2006 11:33 PM       View Profile for Ratleader   Email Ratleader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ratleader's Home Page   View IP for Ratleader

A beautiful joining of two breathtaking talents.....and one I'm proud to bring back into the light.

Miss you around here, Maree....miss you big!

~~(>   ~~(>  ~~( >    ~~~(ER>
______________Ratleader______________

 
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