»
Sanctuary
»
Poetic Haven
»
The Music of Goodbye
| Poetic Haven |
|
The Music of Goodbye |
|
|
ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
The Music of Goodbye The music of goodbye The silent melody In every word we say. The tear in every smile, Each touch burns me With the joy of pain. The music of goodbye The cacophony Wreaking havoc within. This is the song I sing, To the image of an Immovable soul. The music of goodbye It is our harmony The tug-of-war we play. Moon never meets ocean, Though entwined they be Dancing eternally. The music of goodbye, Sinister Polyphony Side by side far apart. My heart singing again Music of my destiny The music of goodbye. "Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~ |
||
| © Copyright 2003 ESP - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Some music writes itself on our hearts..and some music our hearts write... this seems the latter to me.. I hope the refrain itself does not become syncopated and that you find harmony...even in good bye |
||
|
ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Thank you CaptHair for your kind reply  For me this was one of the poems where I don't really know what mood I was when I wrote it, because I was inside the mood. I only wrote it yesterday but it is one of the nearest to my heart that I've written...well I say that quite often so  But yeah thanks for the response Luv, Liz xxx "Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~ |
||
|
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Liz... the closest to our hearts seems to always be the last we wrote in some ways..for it is the moment we are closest to at the time... We all write for different reasons and what ever the reason we write the music of hello or good bye or just ho hum... it sings to us and most likely to others as well... keep writing them... and along the way I think ou'll find a lot of yourself you didn't realize was there. |
||
|
ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Cpat...You're right, and I will definitely keep writing Lol yet every time I write something, I swear that's the end of my writing, that I can't "top it"...thank goodness I usally do manage to, or my "best" piece would be really rubbish Thanks again for replying Luv, Liz xxx "Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~ |
||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
The music doesn't hold a candle to the poetry. I think this is pretty good, Liz... the repetition was alright but I didn't like how you used it as the closing line, it was kind of predictable... I like how you kept the rhyme of the second line of each stanza similar. Harmony, cacophony, polyphony... that was a nice touch. Well written and thanks for sharing with us in Sanctuary. Parasite Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
