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Passions in Poetry

as I sigh...

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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


0 posted 06-08-2003 08:27 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for serenity blaze

with a pull upon the strap
sliding down my arm
intrigued
and grieve of
tell me tales
my eyes tell the yesterday
as I tug
upon the sleeve
asking for a quarter...
where are you?
not there for me?
and yes, it's always been like that.
You the vagabond in drift
I pulled the rabbits
out of hat
wishing you could see.
I pulled
the chartreusse
and I laughed
knowing
I had done my worst.

My eyes tell the yesterday
"c'mon baby, wipe the sleeve"
Five another quarter up
as proof to me that I believe
in these motions of the cross
and ashes?
just another dust
of broom to keep me--as I sigh.
© Copyright 2003 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
fractal007
Member Elite
since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


1 posted 06-08-2003 06:40 PM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fractal007

This is certainly a good haunting poem I'll add to my library.  I like the rhythm the lines have.

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


2 posted 06-08-2003 10:43 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Ah, Serenity....I wait for the day you try me on for sighs....
anonymousfemale
Member Ascendant
since 02-02-2000
Posts 6304
Limbo


3 posted 06-11-2003 12:17 PM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

You the vagabond in drift
I pulled the rabbits
out of hat
wishing you could see.
I pulled
the chartreusse
and I laughed
knowing
I had done my worst.


Nicely done, Karen. There's a certain something to this piece that I can't put my finger on but it's a joy to read - even multiple times. Keep 'em coming.

~AF~

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 09-10-2001
Posts 10765
United States


4 posted 06-11-2003 04:56 PM       View Profile for Larry C   Email Larry C   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Larry C's Home Page   View IP for Larry C

I wonder what sighs 'deer is? No I don't either! Sheesh, what was I thinking? But I'll sigh with you anytime Karen. Lovely write.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


5 posted 06-15-2003 12:16 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

I'm adding this to my library

Maree.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


6 posted 06-15-2003 06:26 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

LARRY!!!!
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 08-07-2001
Posts 5716


7 posted 06-15-2003 04:49 PM       View Profile for Duncan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Duncan

LMAO @ Larry and 'deer.  And now I've forgotten what I was going to say.  Damn, it was good too...
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


8 posted 06-18-2003 11:00 AM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

those tell me tales are more than enough aren't they Karen.
Your words sigh me more often than I wish...
but that at least releases the tension.

hugs
M
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


9 posted 06-18-2003 01:28 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

I had trouble interpreting this (sometimes the case with your poetry), but after reading it a few times I've decided it's about denial.  Talking to the yesterday and wishing that it could be changed somehow by the things that we do in the today.  But no matter how many rabbits you pull out of your hat, you can't change the past, and that's always going to be with you... always going to laugh at your success...

It's a very sad poem... if I'm reading it correctly... and my heart goes out to you, Karen.  My own opinion?  You shouldn't talk to yesterday.  Take what you need from it and leave the rest behind.  Tomorrow's all that matters...

Brian

Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 12-27-2002
Posts 8464
Florida


10 posted 06-26-2003 01:35 PM       View Profile for Susan Caldwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Susan Caldwell

I got the feeling it was about religion.  The giving of money to the collection plate doesn't make you worthy and when prayers don't get answered you do the best you can.  

Just my thoughts....But whatever it meant to you, Karen, it is like everything you write...perfect in the way you tell it.

Susan
 
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