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Does anybody really see?
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Does anybody really see? |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Does anybody really see? ======================== Floating softly on a cloud, Can’t see why it flies. Fretting fruitlessly am I, Of that I’m not proud. Doubt whispers loudly, Makes me listen to words, Can words be absurd? Or am I really cowardly. I’m not in pain, but it hurts, An unknown entity by me, Twisting my soul, no mercy, Do I need some comfort? Why would I, there’s no pain, I’m such a lucky girl. Look on my forehead there’s curl, Now you see I’m not insane. Just a crazy Gemini star, The hidden half you see, When I don’t seem to be me, When my cloud floats far. Hidden voice crying out, Sometimes I’m afraid, Of mistakes I’ve made, Spinning off the roundabout. So calm, so cool, sometimes, Happy-go-lucky is me. Lucky and happy and free, So why the twisted rhymes? My cloud is chased by fear, So see me fretting fruitlessly. Pushing it aside carelessly, Erratically moving can’t steer. I should be steering maybe, Not listening to whispered doubt, Hold on to the roundabout, “Stop being such a baby”. My smiles are the most of me, But frowns of doubt lurk beneath, Woven into my bittersweet wreath, Does anybody really see? "Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~ |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Hey there... I can really relate to this poem. You feel as if you're lucky.. you put on your front but you are in pain as well. Don't feel guilty for being in pain, we all do that sometimes and you have had a bad experience. It's ok to whine sometimes.  But try to focus on the good things without feeling guilty for them! Oh, make me Thine forever |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Thanks Erica Yeah that's exactly right...I'm glad it made some degree of sense....I was certainly wondering...  Thanks for replying, cya around! Luv, Liz xxx "Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~ |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I agree. This world is full of phonies. Hehe, sorry I just read "The Catcher in the Rye." But really, this is a good poem with a good sense of brutal irony. 2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2 |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
ESP, I don't really like this kind of poetry for the most part (the introspective stuff), because I think poetry should have some kind of universal meaning to it as opposed to just a personal expression. But you've written this in such a way that it doesn't just express yourself, but provoke the same thought in the reader... does anybody really see anyone? It's a good concept... you've done it nicely. I'd say this is one of the best I have read from you. Great work... Parasite Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. |
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