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Seasick and the morning pancakes
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Seasick and the morning pancakes |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden 
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Too many pancakes to flip and she can't reach them all or maybe she's run out of spatulas like she ran out of time and lost all capacity for love. Her life is stiched bacwards and inside out, it hangs from the cloud she carries over her head and slings over her shoulder filling it with books to heavy to carry without some help. Dirty hair she fiercly pins down smearing paint with the blood from the spot on her chin she did a search on google for her life and found out that she never had one. Sadness and despair never mattered much, if she takes the time to analyze the situation she would realize she used him to find the dandylions hidden within the rocks making lumps in her blood stream, she still needs his hand to hold, needs to hear his voice everyday so she makes routine calls to him just to reassure herself that her lifeline is still there. Co-dependent syrup on her sticky pancakes covers her fingertips, dripping into the mess of blood and paint, the realization disappears and she attempts to make sense of the motions that she goes through everyday, not wanting to notice that once you realize it, you can spot the ones with no hope from a mile away. In a world full of dreams, you learn to live sea sick. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Allysa - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
wow... pancakes, syrup, paint and blood... I may never eat breakfast again...  Seriously...an interesting write that seems to layer an extended metaphor underneath images that at times seem to add a touch of sureal.... the lines about searching for your life on Google and finding out you didn't have one a nice touch, but almost seems like an afterthought and out of context with the rest of the metaphor used.... all in all.. I enjoyed. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Haha, I love your closing line... I laughed at the "coolness" factor of this poem which is through the roof, as is most of yours. I love your style of taking mundane, everyday concepts and mixing them into your metaphors. You've really mastered that art, I have to say... I liked the part about the dandilions that make lumps in your bloodstream. Ewww! You're WEIRD!! Mwa  Brian Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. ~Percy Bysshe Shelley [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (06-15-2003 10:37 AM).] |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
This is such a wonderful read, I had to read it a couple of times. Thanks for sharing this with us Andy |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
The cancer of doubt. Really enjoyed this. [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (07-28-2003 12:25 PM).] |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Modern life in a nutshell, eh? Grand, isn't it... ~Carly "How inimitably graceful children are in general before they learn to dance!" |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
wow.. i feel really really special guys.. |
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