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Passions in Poetry

Inside the Tropic of Capricorn (Free Verse Duet with JM)

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Cpat Hair
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since 06-05-2001
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0 posted 05-27-2003 04:07 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Cpat Hair

Tide swept shorelines
still bear faint traces
of sunsets and fires
that burned until dawn
while we
like jelly fish
left our tentacles of time
dangling on currents
that came from warmer places
deep in the equator of us

As the moon seduced the night with
the stars, white capped wave crests
curl in sea foamed swirl to the sand
caressing with  consonants constancy
To wash away our footprints, but not the
contentment found in the sharing of tides
or the memories mapped upon our horizons.

Our times were tropical
and you my sun.

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (05-27-2003 04:28 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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since 06-25-99
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1 posted 05-27-2003 04:59 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


I want more...
Marilyn
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since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


2 posted 05-28-2003 12:05 AM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

I found this very tranquil. *sigh* Very nice work.

Marilyn.
snowpants
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since 09-16-2000
Posts 2086
KS


3 posted 05-28-2003 03:03 AM       View Profile for snowpants   Email snowpants   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit snowpants's Home Page   View IP for snowpants

"Tide swept shorelines
still bear faint traces
of sunsets and fires
that burned until dawn"

"As the moon seduced the night with
the stars, white capped wave crests
curl in sea foamed swirl to the sand"

yeah, I agree with Sunshine...more verses!!  more verses!!     Excellent job, guys...

sp  

just a hang-up call and the quiet breathing of our persian we call cajun on a wednesday...

Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


4 posted 05-28-2003 07:43 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Kari ... ya sound like me now     LOL  Thank you poetess of the sun.

Marilyn ... yes..the ocean does that to us doesnt it
thank you for coming by and reading.

Kris... ( moth looking at the post time) Dont you sleep anymore...cept when you come to my house  heh   thank ya girlie,  knew ya would like this one.

Thanks to the Capt for making me moody muse get off her arse...
I know I need to work on writing spontaneously, succinctly and more often...still in rereading, I see a lot of things I would change about my part of this one... the moth just needs to tweak
Oh...and Ron, the dense moth did not miss the fact that you sent a verse bout the ocean to move me muse *L* thank you groovy poet duet dude.
Duncan
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since 08-07-2001
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5 posted 05-28-2003 08:43 AM       View Profile for Duncan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Duncan

Yep, it's a poem!  
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


6 posted 05-28-2003 02:15 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Hey...I was looking for the rest of it too.

That was mean!

It's kinda like foreplay. JUST foreplay.

tapping my toe

c'mon you two, you both know how I get!

I mean, it's GREAT FOREPLAY but yer not just gonna leave me like this?

.

.

.

are ya?

HEY!
Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


7 posted 05-28-2003 09:06 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Dunc....yep..youre a porch puppy BRAT

KA...I wanted it to go on too...but me thinks Ron's lesson of the day for the moth was "less is more"  

and how can ya not love those closing lines
he "sighed" it off with ...

ya know how those pretty blue flames are..
and besides..hes been the dueting King,
so many moths..so little time

Darkness cannot drive out darkness ... only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate ... only love can do that.
MLK

Cpat Hair
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8 posted 05-29-2003 08:08 AM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

(chuckling) ..You know, it is better to leave people wanting more than to have them thinking will this never end...

Thanks for humoring me JM... and as for Dunc..lol.. I'm glad he recognized what a poem is. It's been so long since he wrote one I wasn't sure he still knew.


Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley


9 posted 05-29-2003 09:52 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Beautiful! A perfect blending of your talents.
Midnitesun
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Gaia


10 posted 05-29-2003 02:12 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

BRAVO!!!
(of course I'm keeping this one)
IWIHWT

Local Parasite
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11 posted 06-01-2003 01:15 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Well well!  I almost wondered which part JM did, then I noticed myself suddenly reading out loud.  She tried to do free verse, Ron, but you can't teach an old dog new tricks.  I saw a few hidden rhymes, a few tricks of sound... tsk tsk, bad girl...

I love the jellyfish image... it's very unusual, but really creates the impression of being insignificant, small compared to your surroundings.  Guess you wanted to give her a theme she was familiar with, right?  Flawless setup, Ron... you're good at this collaboration stuff.  

quote:
white capped wave crests
curl in sea foamed swirl to the sand
caressing with  consonants constancy


That's my girl!  

Lovely work, you two.  You can do something longer, ya know... nothing holding you back.

Parasite

Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


12 posted 06-02-2003 07:44 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Hey Bri..that ole Capt is trickier than you know...that last duet we did..he had me take out some of the alliterations..this one?
he put one in. that verse you highlighted--he turned my constancy into the allit.
Ya got watch him every second.
And yes..he knew how to get me muse to dance...just conjure up the ocean and Im a happy moth. Thanks Bri youre the best.

Im still imagining your voice ...
can see the sparkle in your eyes.
I cant explain your power over me
Its understated understood & beautiful.
cj

Martie
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13 posted 06-02-2003 12:45 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Wonderful poem from you poet masters...just the right size.  
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


14 posted 06-02-2003 08:11 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

Oh My God- that was beautiful . . .
but yes - a tease indeed . . .

what happened?

truly amazing writing guys -
( I was ready to sit down to an epic and man you got me good on this one - was like the ending of one of the best movies you ever saw where you go . . . WHAT!!!????

Its over . . . .
xxoo  
Cpat Hair
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15 posted 06-03-2003 11:41 AM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

In truth I am not smart enough to be tricky mothy one... lol

thank you all for the replies and comments. JM just ran with the opening and yes I cut it short as an excersize in restraint as well to show that saying less is sometimes more effective than saying it all.... or trying to..

Enjoyed the write JM..thank you for the kindness and patience you showed me...
Ratleader
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16 posted 10-04-2006 12:53 AM       View Profile for Ratleader   Email Ratleader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ratleader's Home Page   View IP for Ratleader

Simple, elegant, beautiful.....and I hope some day we'll see these two master poets here, doing it again. Wouldn't that be nice?

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Sunshine
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since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


17 posted 02-05-2007 10:02 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Most assuredly, it would be welcome, indeed.

 
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