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one early morning
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one early morning |
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Riley 
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain 
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rain kisses the ground, dropping silent footsteps patches of the earth seep it up, taking a cold drink of the bloody thirst that plagues a still framing that hangs by the tree, floating underneath a gray horizon flashes of an instant color the surroundings mixed in by the modesty of the concrete, a still life portrait the cast of shadows that dance around it never before have seen a drop land on their flesh burns scattered themselves over a reckless body as the rain washes away all but a sin *the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time* |
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| © Copyright 2003 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Ooooh...I love the ending. I love the beginning. And, heck, I love the middle...this definitely takes you somewhere you haven't been before, or just somewhere you haven't noticed...I really like the content in the first line, the way the rain doesn't bounce like you'd expect it to, but stays where it fell...you said it best, though.  I'll definitely devote some more reading time to this...just know it was enjoyed so far.~Carly empty arms |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Carly, I haven't seen you around pip in a while. thank you so much for replying, and i am so glad you liked it that much......talk to you later luv riley *the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time* |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Ooooooh Ri... You know, this kind of eerie dark imagery is just what I love to see from you, especially when the majority of your poem is devoted to describing and setting the scene, where your actual meaning is almost hidden in the symbols and imagery. That's an amazing talent, Riley, to be able to put your reader in a scene, in a dream, and ask that they find their own way out. I've always said you were a prodigy, Riley. This is just another reason to believe so. It goes in my private library for when I myself have that feeling you describe, the feeling of guilt so deep-seated that no amount of rain can wash it away. I hope you're still writing, you are an absolute gift to the world...  BriPoets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. ~Percy Bysshe Shelley [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (06-01-2003 02:00 PM).] |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Bri, I am still writing, don't worry about that. much turmoil in my life gives to the fact that i do.....but as far as this poem goes, a prodigy? i don't know about that. i remeber when i first started writing and thought i sucked, but now people say i am a very talented writer. never thought that to happen. but thanks for the praise brian. my talent is only thanks to god for putting me on this earth as a poet to give my writing to you all to critique and pick to death  ...thanks again...riley *the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time* |
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