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Passions in Poetry

one early morning

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Riley
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since 07-18-2002
Posts 1122
in the pouring rain


0 posted 05-25-2003 01:34 PM       View Profile for Riley   Email Riley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Riley


rain kisses the ground, dropping silent footsteps
patches of the earth seep it up, taking a cold drink
of the bloody thirst that plagues a still framing
that hangs by the tree, floating underneath a gray horizon
flashes of an instant color the surroundings
mixed in by the modesty of the concrete, a still life portrait
the cast of shadows that dance around it
never before have seen a drop land on their flesh
burns scattered themselves over a reckless body
as the rain washes away all but a sin

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

© Copyright 2003 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved
Child of the Stars
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since 09-07-2000
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Ann Arbor, MI


1 posted 05-26-2003 09:07 AM       View Profile for Child of the Stars   Email Child of the Stars   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Child of the Stars

Ooooh...I love the ending. I love the beginning. And, heck, I love the middle...this definitely takes you somewhere you haven't been before, or just somewhere you haven't noticed...I really like the content in the first line, the way the rain doesn't bounce like you'd expect it to, but stays where it fell...you said it best, though. I'll definitely devote some more reading time to this...just know it was enjoyed so far.
  ~Carly

empty arms
and half a soul to go
                     -el sol
                        --Zwan

Riley
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since 07-18-2002
Posts 1122
in the pouring rain


2 posted 05-26-2003 02:59 PM       View Profile for Riley   Email Riley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Riley

Carly,
I haven't seen you around pip in a while. thank you so much for replying, and i am so glad you liked it that much......talk to you later

luv
riley

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

Local Parasite
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since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


3 posted 06-01-2003 12:46 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Ooooooh Ri...

You know, this kind of eerie dark imagery is just what I love to see from you, especially when the majority of your poem is devoted to describing and setting the scene, where your actual meaning is almost hidden in the symbols and imagery.  That's an amazing talent, Riley, to be able to put your reader in a scene, in a dream, and ask that they find their own way out.

I've always said you were a prodigy, Riley.  This is just another reason to believe so.  It goes in my private library for when I myself have that feeling you describe, the feeling of guilt so deep-seated that no amount of rain can wash it away.

I hope you're still writing, you are an absolute gift to the world...

  Bri


Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

[This message has been edited by Local Parasite (06-01-2003 02:00 PM).]

Riley
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since 07-18-2002
Posts 1122
in the pouring rain


4 posted 06-03-2003 12:23 PM       View Profile for Riley   Email Riley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Riley

Bri,

I am still writing, don't worry about that. much turmoil in my life gives to the fact that i do.....but as far as this poem goes, a prodigy? i don't know about that. i remeber when i first started writing and thought i sucked, but now people say i am a very talented writer. never thought that to happen. but thanks for the praise brian. my talent is only thanks to god for putting me on this earth as a poet to give my writing to you all to critique and pick to death ...thanks again...


riley

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

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