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Passions in Poetry

In Search of You (Duet with nakdthoughts)

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Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


0 posted 05-21-2003 02:35 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Cpat Hair

I wonder if I'll ever know
And learn from what I've missed,
Slipping past reflection's time,
From words tied into twist.

Demise my innocence in depth.
Be sealed by feelings, kissed.
Beyond the face the mirror holds
A time of "can't resist".

I wonder if the will shall grow
Or in time just be dismissed
Like truth that's told in simple rhyme
The words, a writers grist.

Lay rest the tears I've often wept
O'er this painful lovers tryst
Behind their pain my heart be bold
Adding love to my life's list.

Into your arms, I wish to be
A blessing in disguise.
Waited far too long, this rose,
To be viewed by touching eyes.

Ascending to an openness,
For both to realize,
Those random thoughts are of the You
That breathes life from my sighs.

I wonder if I'll ever know
And learn from what I've missed,
To find with you, special time,
That turns my life in twist.

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (05-21-2003 07:46 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


1 posted 05-21-2003 02:39 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


This is better'n any old game...
enjoyed very much, you two!
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


2 posted 05-21-2003 03:00 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

This went down so smooth.

Pause.

I wait now, for the cheap shot?

grins...

but seriously folks, the flow here is seamless.

I applaud.
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


3 posted 05-21-2003 03:37 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

I really enjoyed this as well. It ran very smoothly off my tongue. Bravo.

Marilyn.
Cpat Hair
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since 06-05-2001
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4 posted 05-21-2003 04:46 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

You should all give M the credit here... she is the one who kept me in check and made sure my meter was correct... like an English teacher I once had used to do in fact..all that was missing was M twisting my ear when she told me what I was doing wrong..LOL and I am not sure she wouldn't have doen that if she could have reached through the screen and gotten ahold of it..

Thanks M... for the lessons and the experience... I enjoyed it a great deal!
NOW..get in here and take a bow..you deserve it!!!

nakdthoughts
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since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


5 posted 05-21-2003 07:24 PM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

Sorry, I  just got home a bit ago...well to be very honest with you, I only changed two or three words and nothing more. Ron has a great rhythm.

And don't let him fool you. He knows how to rhyme and to follow a format, too.

but hey  Ron...go and capitalize that first  stanza's beginning lines...I followed yours and thought I had asked you to do that to each first word.
So I may not be reaching you through here...but I am going to keep reminding you or make you stand in a corner(which is illegal today)
Thanks Ron. You responded rather quickly to my thoughts. And I like your title.


M
And thank you to all who read and responded.
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


6 posted 05-21-2003 08:25 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

aha! So she held the whip over YOU, eh cap?

*wink*

I was wondering...the meter IS tight!

Again, great job!
Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


7 posted 05-21-2003 10:01 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

I love the blending of rhyme and emotion in this bittersweet write...the longing is palpable. You guys have some lovely poetic phrases and word play in this.
Well done dueting poets.
Ron...when ya signed up for this...we should have warned ya "rhyme happends"
Great writing you two.

I refuse to accept that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism & war that the daybreak of peace can never be reality.
MLK

Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley


8 posted 05-21-2003 11:08 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Simply beautiful...it's amazing. There is no way to tell where one or the other wrote.. great job!
Local Parasite
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since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


9 posted 05-22-2003 02:20 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

This is sweet, you two.  The rhyme and meter seem alright, I think M did a fine job keeping you in line for the most part, Ron... actually, I'm pretty proud of you for being able to pull it off so well, except for the handful of words she must have changed, of course...

Although there's a slip in the second last line which could be patched up with the letter "a" between a couple of stresses, if you know what I mean.  If you don't, well, ignore me.

Nice work.  For the most part I think this is a strong piece of poetry... I like the subtle imagery and the part about the mirror behind the face... but I have to admit I found the closing a little weak.  Hey, gotta be honest... otherwise what are my words worth at all, right?

Maybe I'll give you a shot sometime myself, Ron.  Looks like you're really having fun being the poetry whore of the Duet Club...

Parasite

Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


10 posted 05-22-2003 04:22 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

"Maybe I'll give you a shot sometime myself, Ron"



Somebody STOP me!!!


eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...........

Ron? um, he DOES give great reply...

(told ya'll to stop me...)
Dark Angel
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since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


11 posted 05-22-2003 08:12 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Well done both of you....you make a great team.

enjoyed.

Maree
sea_of_okc
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since 06-15-99
Posts 595
Oklahoma City, OK, USA


12 posted 05-22-2003 11:04 AM       View Profile for sea_of_okc   Email sea_of_okc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sea_of_okc

This is a wonderful poem, it flowed so smoothly and your styles blended seamlessly.

Sure am glad someone pounded meter and rhyme into Ron's head before I started a duet with him!!!

[This message has been edited by sea_of_okc (05-22-2003 11:04 AM).]

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


13 posted 05-22-2003 05:53 PM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

It didn't take much pounding...
and thanks


M
Ratleader
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14 posted 10-02-2006 12:37 AM       View Profile for Ratleader   Email Ratleader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ratleader's Home Page   View IP for Ratleader

I do know this, there are things I've missed, poems like this among them....and things I miss...poems like this among them. I can't say I've learned, though it feels as if I have.

I don't know whether this poem made me wistful, or I perhaps brought it to the poem with me...but wistfulness it is.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

nakdthoughts
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since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


15 posted 10-02-2006 12:06 PM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

awww you made my day Ed...I don't even remember doing this (an age thing probably)

Thank you for bringing forth a past that I enjoyed... been a tough day today for me so this was a bit of pleasure in it.


M
nakdthoughts
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since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


16 posted 08-09-2009 06:45 PM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

just reminiscing a bit~~  and missing, too

M
Mysteria
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since 03-07-2001
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British Columbia, Canada


17 posted 08-09-2009 11:44 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Gee, he has not been here for a long, long time, glad you revived this Maureen.
Cpat Hair
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18 posted 06-16-2010 04:01 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

One never knows what surfaces....or who...
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


19 posted 06-16-2010 07:14 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

or when, or why. You should contact those
who remember.
nakdthoughts
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since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


20 posted 06-17-2010 07:07 AM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

always good to reread you C.


M
Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


21 posted 07-21-2010 12:14 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

reread me? hmm..... don't remember this as being all me...  

but, ma'am, it is nice to see you are still here and sharing words now and again.
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


22 posted 07-21-2010 08:10 PM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

((hugs you))

M
 
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