This is sweet, you two. The rhyme and meter seem alright, I think M did a fine job keeping you in line for the most part, Ron... actually, I'm pretty proud of you for being able to pull it off so well, except for the handful of words she must have changed, of course...
Although there's a slip in the second last line which could be patched up with the letter "a" between a couple of stresses, if you know what I mean. If you don't, well, ignore me.
Nice work. For the most part I think this is a strong piece of poetry... I like the subtle imagery and the part about the mirror behind the face... but I have to admit I found the closing a little weak. Hey, gotta be honest... otherwise what are my words worth at all, right?
Maybe I'll give you a shot sometime myself, Ron. Looks like you're really having fun being the poetry whore of the Duet Club...
Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley