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Passions in Poetry

Sonnets for my nephew

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Local Parasite
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since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


0 posted 05-20-2003 11:36 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

(written having put to sleep a toddler so distressed with bed-time that it brought him to crying)

Sonnets for my nephew

O nephew, whom the sleepy hours taunt--
Thou being thick with innocence and woe
Wherefore canst thou not, to thy chamber, go
When nine the clock hath rung?  What sorrows haunt
Thy vision, and what monsters lurk in wait
To see thy curtain close, thine eyelids fall
That they might feast upon thee?  What doth crawl
To lure thee outward from thy peaceful state
Into a fit of crying?  There is not
An eye upon thee in the night, no plans
Or dark conspiracy--fold not thy hands
In horror--no, let horrors be forgot
And turn instead thy senses to a close
But for a good-night kiss upon the nose.

For I have seen them all, the closet beasts
Who fill the air with threats that they exist
To lick thy skin and taste thee, and persist
To draw thee into some exotic feast--
I have exposed a blade myself, to fend
Them backward, to their dark, infernal pits
And threw my own self to ecstatic fits
Of biting nails--and how my bites did rend
Them dull! Behold my hand awhile, and see
What now remaineth--trimm'd by tooth and worry
As if I, in some ever-pressing hurry
Did bite them once, and still to biting flee
When I myself am victim to the wraiths
That tease me out of scientific faiths.

But there is not a tear so justly spill'd
By one with eyes so innocent as thine
So I advise, for not the sorrows pine
But for the time thy tiny ear is fill'd
Once more with chiming motion in the halls
That lift thee with the drowsy, waking voice
Of morning--And the then-more-pressing choice
Of cereals and milk, when loving calls
From mother cradle thee into the day--
There is no darkness here, no silent grind
Of echo in thy oft-unsettl'd mind,
There drift not brilliant colours into grey
That cannot wake, as thou wilt, when the shine
Of morn doth rouse those drowsy eyes of thine.

[This message has been edited by Local Parasite (05-21-2003 01:03 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


1 posted 05-21-2003 12:01 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

These are just the sweetest...

I think you have just convinced ME that sleep is not a punishment...

and it occurs to me right now, that I have bragged on your writing so much to others, and so seldom to you.

There is no critique for you. I read and just wonder: "How'd he do that?"

Your command of formal language never sounds forced or stilted--I'm convinced you are a time traveler.

Thank you for the bedtime sonnets--maybe no nightmares tonight. Hugs you. You have managed to both astonish and soothe me. And if it's true that you read these to your nephew, I would have loved to have seen that.

A touching scene indeed.

And? about this writing talent of yours?



Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


2 posted 05-21-2003 12:48 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

the moth will be back when her eyes are actually functioning

oh..hey groovy bug boyeeee....
when you have a min...Ive a poem floating in open... a slight revision of a older poem from (open 16)...
Id love your input on the line breaks...
they are always a pain...
they get in the way of a long winded moths alliterations
night Bri...
night Sen ...
night poetry land...
night jon boy ( bon jovi) heh
Local Parasite
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since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


3 posted 05-21-2003 01:09 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Serenity - Thanks for the sweet response... I'm glad you found these enjoyable.  It's quick poetry, sure, I just came downstairs once I put him to bed and jotted them down.  No, I didn't read them to him, and I'm not going to risk going and waking him up to do so now that he's sleeping.  He wouldn't have the attention span to listen.  Maybe when he's older I'll show them to him, and see if he remembers that night.

Thank you for your compliments.  No, I'm not a time-traveller, but you'd really think so with my taste in books...

JM - Of course I'll check out your poem when I have a minute or ten.  I peek now and notice that you stole my invisible "edited by" trick!  You must REALLY pay too much attention to my posts.  
Cpat Hair
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since 06-05-2001
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4 posted 05-21-2003 08:16 AM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

Now.... I have no idea how you write this way or maintain the use of language and of meter as you do... but I do know.. you are damned good at...

Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


5 posted 05-21-2003 09:14 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

O nephew, whom the sleepy hours taunt--
Thou being thick with innocence and woe
Wherefore canst thou not, to thy chamber, go
When nine the clock hath rung?  What sorrows haunt
==============================

But there is not a tear so justly spill'd
By one with eyes so innocent as thine
So I advise, for not the sorrows pine
But for the time thy tiny ear is fill'd

Once more with chiming motion in the halls
That lift thee with the drowsy, waking voice
Of morning--And the then-more-pressing choice
Of cereals and milk, when loving calls
From mother cradle thee into the day--
There is no darkness here, no silent grind
Of echo in thy oft-unsettl'd mind,
There drift not brilliant colours into grey
That cannot wake, as thou wilt, when the shine
Of morn doth rouse those drowsy eyes of thine.

====================================


You are a living, breathing sonnet...A lean ,mean rhyming machine
I do so love the places you find your inspiration in.
Your a lesson in the art of knowing poetry is everywhere.
These are beautiful verses...you take the classic language and style and put your own signature on it, make it your own and make it look like its second skin.
Thats as impressive as the poetic result.
Me? I give em Benadryl. JUST KIDDING!! LOL

Edit code? I think your fellow Canadian, poetess Mysteria sent it to me a long time ago..Im a left handed moth..I need all the help I can get. LOL

I refuse to accept that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism & war that the daybreak of peace can never be reality.
MLK

Local Parasite
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since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


6 posted 05-23-2003 03:06 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Ron - Well you'd better figure it out if you want a collaboration with me, hm?  Maybe...

JM - Oh you sweet girl... nah, I'm not a sonnet... sonnets are too short.  I actually intended this to be a sonnet, but then I ended up drawing it into a second and then finally a third one.  I really can't write short poetry, 'cause I always end up having more that I want to say.  Sigh...

Love where I find inspiration?  Heh, well, if you were as useless as I am you'd have lots of quiet time to just sit around and stare into space thinking about what your next poem's going to be about.     Thanks for your compliments, always...

As for the edit code.  That was me first!  Everyone does that now!  Grr...
kaile
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since 02-06-2000
Posts 5323
singapore


7 posted 06-03-2003 07:35 AM       View Profile for kaile   Email kaile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kaile

Hey, i never knew sonnets can actually be that enjoyable! (guess i'm sheding unfavourable light on my ignorance)

quote:
And the then-more-pressing choice
Of cereals and milk, when loving calls


These 2 lines made me smile...and for me, they were a testimony as to the amount of empathy and understanding that have gone into creating this piece...the seeing of things from your nephew's eyes...

Kudos for this delightful read


Sunshine
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since 06-25-99
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Listening to every heart


8 posted 06-03-2003 09:30 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


When the time comes, as it surely will?

You are going to be an excellent father.
Skyfire
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since 12-27-2000
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Riding


9 posted 06-04-2003 01:54 AM       View Profile for Skyfire   Email Skyfire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfire

*points at the screen with a soft "woah"*

  Brian... you are my hero... and right now that's saying something lol.

Wow, I'm totally floored. Wanna write me a poem?

littlewing
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since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


10 posted 06-04-2003 08:56 AM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

Brian:

as I have said before
an old soul . . .

this is so beautiful in its simplicity
and magnificient in its deliverance.

xxoo
Allysa
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since 11-09-1999
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In an upside-down garden


11 posted 06-04-2003 12:50 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

I'm starting to think I should be studying for these evil finals... yep... but my first one isn't for,oh, two and a half hours, so I'll stop rambling now and get to the point...

Once again, I must bow down to you, Brian.  You are amazing, truly amazing and I enjoy everthing of yours that I am so privleged to read.  

Replying to your work is always a hard task for me because I want to provide a reply deserving of the work, and that is impossible. My appreciation for formal language is strengthened with your works- they always sound so proper!  All of the hatred that I find into Shakespeare is matched by love that I discover in your work.  I hope that last sentence made sense because my brain has become cottage cheese in the past few days.  

Once again, I applaud you.  Excellent job.

(guess what- I finally discovered this forum! yay for me..!)
LoveBug
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12 posted 06-05-2003 09:42 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

This is just too cute and sweet... they have a lot of depth too. I always liked the kids stories that you can dig into and find really philosophical undertones. The meter was perfect (of course, it's Brian), and to me it's like a sweet little lullaby. I can imagine you fending off the monsters that the baby imagines *sigh* My hero!

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

Martie
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since 09-21-1999
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13 posted 06-05-2003 11:33 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

LP

I believe you are a most worthy person and poet...and someday, if I am still around, I will be able to say I knew him...because I think you are going places even now!   for this sweetness in you.
anonymousfemale
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since 02-02-2000
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Limbo


14 posted 06-06-2003 08:48 AM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

I'm just going to smile, nod my head in your direction and commend you on a job well done.

You've mastered the style, Mr Lee.

~AF~

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

fractal007
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since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


15 posted 06-07-2003 09:35 PM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fractal007

This is a very enjoyable collection of sonnet-stanzas.  Once again you have combined "poetic diction" with an issue that, though probably not new, still has modernday relevance.  Nicely done poetry.  I'll be storing this to my library.

BTW, I saw Titus, the recent movie adaptation of Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus.  Has anyone else seen it?  What did you think of it?

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

Ceinwyn
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since 07-09-2000
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16 posted 07-26-2003 01:37 AM       View Profile for Ceinwyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ceinwyn

I admit I'm still afraid to read your poetry because I still don't know how to comment..you know you're far better than me...I'm not worthy to be considered a poet..urhhh yeah..anyways I need to lay off the vodka.. but how do you do it?

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

garysgirl
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17 posted 07-26-2003 03:06 AM       View Profile for garysgirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit garysgirl's Home Page   View IP for garysgirl

There is no darkness here, no silent grind
Of echo in thy oft-unsettl'd mind,
There drift not brilliant colours into grey
That cannot wake, as thou wilt, when the shine
Of morn doth rouse those drowsy eyes of thine.


Brian, this is so sweet. I could almost see you reading these to your little nephew while you had him in your arms.

You know, you have the most beautiful way of writing. You write like the classic poets. You are so talented. I wish I could write like you do.

Thanks for sharing this wonderful tender poem with us.  
Hugs  
Ethel



[This message has been edited by garysgirl (07-26-2003 03:13 AM).]

brian sites
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18 posted 07-27-2003 12:35 AM       View Profile for brian sites   Email brian sites   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian sites

again I say...
I dont know how you do it
you seem to breathe this stuff

I swear I could have read this back in highschool Shakespeare section

you are that good
I am ignorant yes of this style
but I just see....seamless..
deep....beautiful verse

youse the master at this

awesome Brian
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 11-18-2002
Posts 7451
the ass-end of space


19 posted 07-27-2003 11:17 PM       View Profile for Aenimal   Email Aenimal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aenimal

Powerful images in the second sonnet and superb usage throughout. Funny how something once thought of as punishment is now the greatest gift i can ask for.
bsquirrel
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since 01-03-2000
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20 posted 07-28-2003 12:29 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

You can bring dignity to any situation. I tip my hat.
Kit McCallum
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21 posted 07-28-2003 10:28 PM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

"And turn instead thy senses to a close
But for a good-night kiss upon the nose."

Brian, this was absolutely delightful.  The flow, the rhythm, the choice of wording ... just wonderful. I enjoyed this thoroughly from start to finish. Really well done!

Best wishes,
/Kit

anawnda
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since 07-26-2002
Posts 116


22 posted 07-28-2003 11:07 PM       View Profile for anawnda   Email anawnda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anawnda

ey!!!! remember me? been away for a long time been busy with my band, were called "sex-ed in cuba" =), hope you check out my comeback poem, i really value your opinion, great poem btw, you never fail to impress me......


* you can hurt me...with your bare hands,or
you can hurt me using the sharp edge of what you said.....* jewel kilcher

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