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Sandcastle

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Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


0 posted 05-13-2003 07:03 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Flew what, from the branches of willows in winter
Whose green'ry did wilt and whose barkskin did splinter,
And fell to the garment of Beauty, to tint her
With hues of reality, shades of despair?
Spun what, on the wheel of an innocent musing
A starlit parade lit with children perusing
A basket of questions, their words too confusing
For eyes of a handful of summers to bear?

It was to the basket, an infant did scuttle
And sent it down Lethe, a personal shuttle
To streams in a raindrop and lakes in a puddle
Thro' mazes of playground equipment and swings
If Nothing existed, it was his companion
Who lifted his shoulder above the great Canyon
And tost with him pebbles, all ingrates and rebels
Assured be, these are but frivolous things.


I know, for I saw him, when I came to wander
He 'pon that high cliffside did mingle and ponder
That garment of Beauty, and what lay beyond her
And what was the taste of the milk from her breast?
He, yes, he and Nothing, did watch as the feather
And fish did so barter for roomier weather
Until they decided where best they resided
And into the chamber of Death lay to rest.

My heart far grew dimmer, my pity did blossom
With petals so awkward as wings of a possum
Who knew not to fly--and my doubts ne'er could cross him
A bird of firm majesty, truly was he
So upward I clame on his imagination
To meet those two partners, their soft jubilation
And took them by hands to explore their creation
The shoreline, where they built a castle with me.

The boy (once an infant), a pail and a shovel
Held forth and did plant me an odious hovel
Where we could both kneel to fair Beauty and grovel
And offer her prayers with our task-ridden hands.
Beside him sat Nothing, who could but examine
Creation--and he turned the eyes of the salmon
Downstream, and their stomachs were stricken with famine--
Their bodies were gather'd and roll'd in the sand.

We feasted, and Beauty seem'd wasted and fallow
'Til back flew the tide and grew ever so shallow
We fasted, and o how our hearts we did hallow
and Nothing did make his return to the ground.
In the height despair and the depth of grim tragedy
Somehow, our world could no longer imagined be
A universe cried when the little boy died...
And our castle decay'd all around.

The ruins wept not for me--they were unwary
Of Nothing, as he, like a venemous cherry,
Laid waste to my spirit, as though some dark faerie
Had crept to my lungs and extinguish'd my breath.
When, sooner than hopefulness shun and abhor me
The tide had disclosed its abundance before me--
The spectre of Beauty, who there did restore me
And nourish me back from the chamber of Death.

Flew what, from the branches of willows in winter
Whose green'ry did wilt and whose barkskin did splinter,
And fell to the garment of Beauty, to tint her
With hues of reality, shades of despair?
T'was I, with my lips to her nipple, there pressing
Experience down through her faded night-dressing
And the lips of a boy who is no more distressing--
Is sleeping, with Beauty to brush back his hair.

[This message has been edited by Local Parasite (05-13-2003 08:14 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved
JP
Senior Member
since 05-25-99
Posts 1391
Loomis, CA


1 posted 05-13-2003 08:02 PM       View Profile for JP   Email JP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JP's Home Page   View IP for JP

My goodness, you are positively amazing!

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


2 posted 05-13-2003 08:42 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

  I WILL BE BACK!!!!  


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


3 posted 05-13-2003 10:01 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Flew what, from the branches of willows in winter
Whose green'ry did wilt and whose barkskin did splinter,
And fell to the garment of Beauty, to tint her
With hues of reality, shades of despair?
Spun what, on the wheel of an innocent musing
A starlit parade lit with children perusing
A basket of questions, their words too confusing
For eyes of a handful of summers to bear?

It was to the basket, an infant did scuttle
And sent it down Lethe, a personal shuttle
To streams in a raindrop and lakes in a puddle
Thro' mazes of playground equipment and swings
If Nothing existed, it was his companion
Who lifted his shoulder above the great Canyon
And tost with him pebbles, all ingrates and rebels
Assured be, these are but frivolous things.
=======================================
My heart far grew dimmer, my pity did blossom
With petals so awkward as wings of a possum
Who knew not to fly--and my doubts ne'er could cross him
A bird of firm majesty, truly was he
So upward I clame on his imagination
To meet those two partners, their soft jubilation
And took them by hands to explore their creation
The shoreline, where they built a castle with me.

===================================
We feasted, and Beauty seem'd wasted and fallow
'Til back flew the tide and grew ever so shallow
We fasted, and o how our hearts we did hallow
and Nothing did make his return to the ground.
In the height despair and the depth of grim tragedy
Somehow, our world could no longer imagined be
A universe cried when the little boy died...
And our castle decay'd all around.

The ruins wept not for me--they were unwary
Of Nothing, as he, like a venemous cherry,
Laid waste to my spirit, as though some dark faerie
Had crept to my lungs and extinguish'd my breath.
When, sooner than hopefulness shun and abhor me
The tide had disclosed its abundance before me--
The spectre of Beauty, who there did restore me
And nourish me back from the chamber of Death.

Flew what, from the branches of willows in winter
Whose green'ry did wilt and whose barkskin did splinter,
And fell to the garment of Beauty, to tint her
With hues of reality, shades of despair?
T'was I, with my lips to her nipple, there pressing
Experience down through her faded night-dressing
And the lips of a boy who is no more distressing--
Is sleeping, with Beauty to brush back his hair.

==================================

*shaking my head*

OK....ya know....I'm starting to sound like Paula Abdula on American Idol...LOL--
Cause each time I reply to you, I feel like Im saying the same things over and over, but how can I NOT mention your mastery of rhyme and meter...how can I not be vocal about your vocabulary...how can I not linger in your language   *haha*  How can I not be impressed with your imagery. How can I not articulate my awe of your ability and grasp of poetic phrasing and word play...and lest not forget to mention the internal rhymes that you sprinkled through out this, leaving me moth giddy How can I not let my tongue be caressed by your cadence  
How can I not be amazed at your assonance..
Reading this aloud was awesome!!


And tost with him pebbles, all ingrates and rebels

Until they decided where best they resided

A universe cried when the little boy died


I would really love to hear where this inspire of theme came from...its sooooo cool...such grand story telling with such creative employ of abstract, ethereal and fantasy essence in it as well as the bibilical and classic poetic drama and conflict that makes this kind of poetry.

And ya know I am loving all the references to seasons and to the ocean...and to the trees...I loved those opening lines...and the repetion of them in your closing verse
Did I ever tell ya I have a thing for trees? LOL


Flew what, from the branches of willows in winter
Whose green'ry did wilt and whose barkskin did splinter,



This whole verse just says it all....

My heart far grew dimmer, my pity did blossom
With petals so awkward as wings of a possum
Who knew not to fly--and my doubts ne'er could cross him
A bird of firm majesty, truly was he
So upward I clame on his imagination
To meet those two partners, their soft jubilation
And took them by hands to explore their creation
The shoreline, where they built a castle with me.

Oh yeah...you rock...and it rolls me.


Very very well done poet sir!!!



You're the best I've ever felt ...
it's so wrong not to be with you.
It's getting harder to stay away,
it stops my heart just to be with you.

SH

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (05-13-2003 10:02 PM).]

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


4 posted 05-14-2003 10:36 AM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

Oh yeah..I'm supposed to comment on this and follow the moth..lol.. sure..I can do that....let me see if I can condense my reply a bit since the moth circled your light quite extensivly..

very nice...I am always inmpressed with the language the ideas and the form you present... you have a gift and a talent..and we are all blessed that you chose to share it with us here.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


5 posted 05-14-2003 11:26 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Library...
and back for a review
only because I know you love 'em.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


6 posted 05-14-2003 01:35 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

LP...you are amazing..you write with such mastery and depth...I really don't know how to express or be deep enough myself to tell you the power you have over poetic expression.  
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


7 posted 05-20-2003 12:13 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

JP - Thanks!  I try.

JM - You don't gotta worry about sounding redundant.  I don't mind it at all.  All it means is that I'm, uh, consistent... And don't worry, I'm not repulsed by your reiteration, I'm not annoyed by your alliteration, I'm just enthralled by your enthusiasm, and flattered by your uh... flattery... (gimme a break, this isn't my thing).

The inspiration came from a dream that I had, actually, and I know that makes me less creative but at least I'm being honest... I had a dream about walking on the beach and seeing a woman in the waves that came towards me.  This poem is kind of my interpretation.  I added my childhood and wrote this as a contrast between the past and present, my cold atheistic childhood that would see only nothing (Nothing), and then, my elder years which found this to be not enough, and chose instead to explore and seek truth, and found Beauty, and actually embraced her.

That's the basic analysis of this one... in case you're interested.  It's kind of personal, sure, but I think it has some stronger message behind it, too... that closing your eyes from truth will take you nowhere and leave you with nothing...

Thanks for the resplendent reply, JM.

Ron - Thanks for reading this, my friend... and thank you for your compliments.  Don't worry about the moth, either... I think she's got a crush on me, that's all.  

Sunshine - I'm in your library?  Well that's an honour.  I imagine by now you have a pretty vast library, considering your post count and the fact that you've been here longer than most... it's a big compliment.  As for the review, don't worry about it... it's a nice thought though.  

Martie - I'm very flattered to have your approval... you're one of the poets whom I admire most at this site, and it's definitely a huge compliment to me.  Thank you for taking the time to read me...

Glad this one got such a nice response... thanks again to everyone who read this one.

Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


8 posted 05-20-2003 01:59 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

SO -- its true then ....
even when you sleep...that too is rhyme divine ....
I figured that when you talk in your sleep it was in cadence..but you even dream poetry.  

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


9 posted 05-20-2003 04:15 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

WOW, I just loved this. It is going into my favorite list. There are few who have made it to this list. PdV, Nan, Ron, Christopher (by the way, is he still around here? He is my favorite poet and always makes me think). There are a few more but I don't want to fill up this thread with all the greats from passions. (or forget any and have to come back as they come to mind...lol)

I thankyou for giving me another poet to look for when reading through these halls.

Marilyn.
wranx
Member Elite
since 06-07-2002
Posts 3778
Moved from a shack to a barn


10 posted 05-21-2003 11:16 AM       View Profile for wranx   Email wranx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wranx

Well, I think the JM has this just about covered...I'll just add that it's a beauty.
ESP
Member Elite
since 01-25-2000
Posts 2574
Floating gently on a cloud....


11 posted 05-21-2003 02:17 PM       View Profile for ESP   Email ESP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ESP

What a poet...what was I thinking when I read it? Whoever knows this poet is really lucky and I wish I did.
Thanks for a great read.
Liz xx
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