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Passions in Poetry

Devotion

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Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 09-07-2000
Posts 1972
Ann Arbor, MI


0 posted 04-12-2003 11:23 PM       View Profile for Child of the Stars   Email Child of the Stars   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Child of the Stars

lakes of malted drivel, wading in
and pouring tiny, grainy golden
casts of meaning
half-reflecting on the sunrise,
half-pretending suns are dead
hoarding something spacious somewhere
in the gaps within its
whole-some-ness like crimson,
beige, and pirouetting blues in birds
on tuesday after-mourn.

paraplanting's quite like kissing,
but without the flames or touch.
every inch beside the valley
braves and wanders to their lunch,
served in cupcake trays in winter
and in hollow gourds before.

i have yet to meet a someone
who can serve these in his palm,
taking time for long-inhaling
of completeness in the dawn;
soon, i promise, he will find me,
and my morns of drinks alone
will have risen to the byways
and departed with their own.


I belong in Narnia.


i've never wrung thick toffee through my nose,
i've never flung my soul up
on a setting English horse.
i have only once drunk raindrops
that were faint reminders of
orange mornings stole in silence
while an eyelid shied the sun.

i've never called a girl i loved a fleure,
or betrothed my feet to queens and kings
and wrinkly magistrates,
though i do remember dressing
in a velvet under-gown,
and the thrill of meeting no one
when it fell.

there is nothing rightly purer
(though a glass-light does come close)
than the girl i left on periwinkled floors;
for as long as I impair her
she will never learn to wander
and i'll find her, where i left her, on the moor.


[This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (04-14-2003 04:01 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
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Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


1 posted 04-13-2003 03:53 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Wow Carly... this is just powerful, and sad... and striking...   I love how this is written, you use so many imagination-driven images that really got my mind into Narnia when I was reading this... I think I learned a lot about you just from this poem.

You don't belong in Narnia, sweetheart... you're so young, give life some time... and you'll see that there are people who do love you, and who will be there for you.  

For now, I'm honoured to know you because someday, this poem will appear in poetry anthologies of the early 21st century poets... you'll be a star.  

I think this is one of your best.  I'm putting it in my library.

Brian

God becomes as
we are that we
may be as he
is
~William Blake

Marshalzu
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since 02-15-2001
Posts 4465
Lurking


2 posted 04-13-2003 04:39 PM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

Great writing Carly, this kind of just picked me up and carried me along, I felt compelled to keep on reading. I just love the imagery you use and create. Thanks for sharing
JP
Senior Member
since 05-25-99
Posts 1391
Loomis, CA


3 posted 04-16-2003 11:03 AM       View Profile for JP   Email JP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JP's Home Page   View IP for JP

nice job!  I was getting the feeling of walking down hill as I read this.  The choice of puncuation was marvelous.  I would beging reading, anticipating a chance to catch my breath, my head leaning forward... then a period would come up and I could pause and begin again.  Then I reread for meaning... wonderful work Carly.

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


4 posted 05-21-2003 12:00 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

I keep coming back and reading this, loving it every time.  How come you don't post anymore, Carly Anne?  I miss you...

Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

Sven
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since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


5 posted 05-21-2003 12:42 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

yeah. . . what LP said. . .

this is amazing. . . such insight and powerful emotions. . . tell me there's more???

----------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


6 posted 06-29-2003 06:44 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

Carly:

I admire the fantasy-flight of this write.
The way you use metaphor is fascinating.

I love this line:

I belong in Narnia

You brought me to a place I have long since forgotten . . . thank you
and I do disagree with where you belong
This is quite an amazing piece
xxoo
 
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