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Passions in Poetry

Dangerous Liaisons (repost)

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PoetryIsLife
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since 10-27-2001
Posts 4115
...in my boxers...


0 posted 04-07-2003 12:41 AM       View Profile for PoetryIsLife   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for PoetryIsLife


You label me a liar
because I question,
not only you but us all.
I try and stay sober,
to label you a coward.
Who's winning in the end?
The coward breathing
or the liar ceasing?
Why bother staying sober?
Can we truly change?
My belief in dreams is fading,
fading into my crevice of despair;
for I label you a liar.
© Copyright 2003 Daniel Redding - All Rights Reserved
Marshalzu
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since 02-15-2001
Posts 4465
Lurking


1 posted 04-07-2003 06:20 AM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

Great work Titus
Local Parasite
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since 11-05-2001
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Transylconia, Winnipeg


2 posted 04-07-2003 11:12 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

I don't really like this poem, Titus.  I think you neglected a lot of the style I'm used to seeing from you and regressed into a more simplistic use of form and language... the result is a decent concept for a poem done without as much style as it could have had.  If you choose to revise this, you should draw it out a little more, make stanzas, use creative language and poetic technique to enhance it...

Sorry man, but I have to be honest with you, you understand... it's because I do respect you enough to tell you how I really feel.

Parasite

God becomes as
we are that we
may be as he
is
~William Blake

Mistletoe Angel
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City of Roses


3 posted 04-12-2003 06:53 PM       View Profile for Mistletoe Angel   Email Mistletoe Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Mistletoe Angel's Home Page   View IP for Mistletoe Angel



(sigh) Oh Daniel, I hope this situation is behind you now, dearest friend, I noticed this was a re-post and only hope now the lies have been cleansed away and the truth has made way! (big hugggsssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Daniel, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

JP
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since 05-25-99
Posts 1391
Loomis, CA


4 posted 04-12-2003 11:16 PM       View Profile for JP   Email JP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JP's Home Page   View IP for JP

I'm on the fence with this one.  I liked it for what I took away from it, but I am interested to know the inspiratiion behind it.

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

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