How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Sanctuary
 Poetic Haven
 Truth
 1 2
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Poet deVine, Martie   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Truth

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
fractal007
Member Elite
since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


0 posted 03-29-2003 04:20 AM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for fractal007

I came, I saw, I wrote
The innocent child released
the man and woman hurl their bombs
across the country, fuel to age-
long hatred.
In all my years I forgot
The child's power surpasses
the fury of men's and women's bombs
flying through the world's age-
long sorrow.

I hid myself from me
The truth, the child, is gone
I wish I were myself and not
your precious prize to steal away
from her.

I'm locked away on pages,
waiting for the day of my release
pray I stay inside my cell

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

© Copyright 2003 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


1 posted 03-29-2003 10:16 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

I understood this up to the point where you said "I wish I was myself and not your precious prize to steal away from her."  Then I lost you.  I read it a couple more times, but still couldn't quite pin what you meant by this...

quote:
I came, I saw, I wrote
The innocent child released
the man and woman hurl their bombs
across the country, fuel to age-
long hatred.
In all my years I forgot
The child's power surpasses
the fury of men's and women's bombs
flying through the world's age-
long sorrow.


I see this as a description of yourself in a childlike state, that you stand and watch things go on with indifference, while hatred and sorrow are raging between two parties (the man and woman?).  You use some timely imagery, which makes the impact a lot stronger.

quote:

I hid myself from me
The truth, the child, is gone
I wish I were myself and not
your precious prize to steal away
from her.


Are you saying you became involved in the sorrow and hatred?  You hid yourself from the child who stood away from opinion and embraced truth?  Why, then, are you a "precious prize?"  You lost me there...

quote:
I'm locked away on pages,
waiting for the day of my release
pray I stay inside my cell


Hmm.... you still seem powerless in your distant view of the situation, "locked away on pages," waiting for the inevitable "day of your release" when your childhood will be wholly lost, but not wanting to, praying you stay inside your cell?

Come back and explain this one to me.  Maybe it's too early in the morning for me to be trying to read one of your deep pieces, Frac... forgive me.  

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

fractal007
Member Elite
since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


2 posted 03-29-2003 01:23 PM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fractal007

Heh...

Well, the child is more a symbolic creature personifying the truth, as you're rightly found.  However, the speaker hides the truth from himself in his daily life, writing his life on paper, including what's happening between the two warring parties.  So, technically the speaker knows the truth(or the innocent impartial child personifying it) but keeps it locked away on paper.  And so, the final lines ask the audience to pray that the speaker does not release the truth, ie give his writings away or something, thus revealing what really happens both in his own life and in those of the warring parties.

Hope this helps.  Perhaps 3 and 4 in the morning are bad times in which to write poetry...

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

 
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Sanctuary >> Poetic Haven >> Truth Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors