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Passions in Poetry

A poem as it dies

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bsquirrel
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since 01-03-2000
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0 posted 03-20-2003 12:46 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

It hurts to watch a whisper,
a poem as it dies.
Its leaves and thorns unknown,
its petals unexpressed.

The head is wilt and scent,
drooping to the earth.
Cannot thrive among
modern thoughts of sense.

The verses unremembered,
the flavor just recalled.
A tint to wash the windows
in some rainy light.

And when I watch the sea,
sometimes the words come.
Standing near the shore.
Sometimes, waiting there.

Aperture of light
shredded on sharp stones.
This poem died right here,
nameless and alone.

Stella was a diver and she was always down.
Interpol

© Copyright 2003 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


1 posted 03-20-2003 06:16 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

This is a bit different for you but I like it.


Does a poem die if it's not read? I don't think so. Doesn't it live in the poet's heart?
wandering glider
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since 04-04-2001
Posts 504
aloft


2 posted 03-20-2003 11:40 AM       View Profile for wandering glider   Email wandering glider   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wandering glider

The poems that die are the ones that somehow didn't get written.  
Stillborn as it were.
Love it while you write it and then let it go I say.

w.g.
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


3 posted 03-20-2003 11:43 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

BSquirrel~
What reflective poetic thoughts~

As a poem is born ...
it lives in the heart of the poet
and if we're fortunate
it's shared with someone else~

This thought alone is brilliantly inspiring-

'It hurts to watch a whisper,
a poem as it dies.'


Really felt GOOD to read this~
Thank you~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com                        

bsquirrel
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4 posted 03-20-2003 11:59 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Glad you all enjoyed. Someone close to me pulled their poems before they had a chance to be chosen for the book, so this is the poem that resulted.
Local Parasite
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since 11-05-2001
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Transylconia, Winnipeg


5 posted 03-20-2003 04:11 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

When I read this, I had in mind the way that you can stand someplace and just be so awestruck with what you're seeing that you can't bring it to poetry, and you feel like your poem is "dying" before it even gets to be written, "nameless and alone."  Your reply told me I was wrong, but I don't care how wrong I am... that's what it made me think of.  

You've got a gift for dark poetry that I wish I could borrow for a few days.  Even melancholy, like the kind you use here, seems dark with your style.  

Oh, and rainy light is now my favourite kind of light.

Brilliant piece, fabulously written.  Definitely the best you've posted in quite a while.  This goes to my private library.

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

bsquirrel
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6 posted 03-20-2003 05:26 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thanks, Parasite. It means a lot to me when you take the time to read my dribblings of thought.

And you aren't too far off in your interpretation. That was a sub-thought in my head while writing this -- that sometimes a poem can't be written because the truth of the matter would shame it, if that makes any sense.

And thanks for saying I write dark well. On the opposite end, you can say "you don't write light well at all." Believe me, I tried to write light for a long time before accepting that yeah, I do write dark, and that's cool with me.

fractal007
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since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


7 posted 03-23-2003 04:16 AM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fractal007

This poem brought me back to life here sitting alone in my tired stupor!  I think this is my favourite poem by you to date.  The images you've combined here are spectacular, each lending itself in one way or another to the socially and intellectually critical barrage this poem delivers.  

The verses unremembered,
the flavor just recalled.
A tint to wash the windows
in some rainy light.


I really liked this stanza.  It was very rocking.  The names and words of important things long gone have now become common words for matter-of-fact things such as the colour of a window or the style of a particular object.  

Finally, the war imagery at the end of this poem was beautifully drawn.  Keep writing!  I've a feeling my library's gonna get pretty full soon.

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

wranx
Member Elite
since 06-07-2002
Posts 3778
Moved from a shack to a barn


8 posted 03-24-2003 12:52 AM       View Profile for wranx   Email wranx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wranx

This is really very good Mikey. In a very quiet way.
bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


9 posted 03-24-2003 02:33 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thank you both. And great to see you again, wranx.
Midnitesun
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Gaia


10 posted 03-24-2003 06:01 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

The death of a poem..what a sad thought, yet many times they seem to die in the birthing process. And yet, perhaps they are merely in the egg/seed state, not yet ready to be born?
Enjoyed this write, M.
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


11 posted 03-24-2003 07:19 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thank you, K.
 
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