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Passions in Poetry

She gave kisses that killed.

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Marshalzu
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0 posted 03-04-2003 08:03 AM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

She gave kisses that killed.

“I miss you”
said she

the pain
arose

white and thorny

trickling tears
I saved them for she.

but she’d forgotten
the power in words
and though she missed me
still my heart bled.

03/03/03

My Violent Bedtime Stories

© Copyright 2003 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
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1 posted 03-04-2003 10:45 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Andrew~
Now THAT's a title that can't be ignored~
The content .... VERY, VERY touching~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com                        

Marshalzu
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2 posted 03-04-2003 11:17 AM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

Thank you for the reply Marge, I was a little sure about the title and the content as it was sort of a vent but now I'm a little more at ease.
Local Parasite
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Transylconia, Winnipeg


3 posted 03-06-2003 12:00 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Yipes... I'm familiar, this is not a good situation to be in.  I knew you'd be able to do it justice, though, and I read this with confidence in your ability... what you've created turns out to be sharp and accurate.

Very nicely written, Zu.

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

fractal007
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since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


4 posted 03-07-2003 11:40 PM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fractal007

Cool poem that gets to the point.  I am somewhat confused about your use of the word she in the line "I saved them for she."

"If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"
-- Magus
"there is no good and evil, there are just sides."
-- Local Parasite

Spine Grinder
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since 10-28-2000
Posts 1147
Standing In Silence...


5 posted 03-09-2003 06:41 PM       View Profile for Spine Grinder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Spine Grinder

ooo...i liked this alot...so sad but diffently a great write..

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

Marshalzu
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6 posted 03-10-2003 03:49 AM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

Thanks for the replies, this is a peice I'm really glad I wrote. Anyway thanks for the replies.
anonymousfemale
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since 02-02-2000
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Limbo


7 posted 03-10-2003 10:05 AM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

Very well written, Mister Zu. Each line was touching and the last few lines really pinpointed the pain.

I'm glad I caught this.

~AF~

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

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