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Passions in Poetry

Memoirs of Trei

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fractal007
Member Elite
since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


0 posted 02-17-2003 11:53 PM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for fractal007

The bright morning sun rises early,
her mate our mother world of Pryna lags
not far behind, her limb a glint of gold
within a cooled sea of darkened blue.

The livened rocks of our newly created world
embrace the warmth and light of both old globes
and work begins anew, the bots churning
and harvesting ores and metals fit for use.

     I feel out of place...
     Thinker among the workers...
     But now we all think...

One hundred years before this moon
was not alone, but held a sister
close in hand.  They drifted proudly
over our complacent heads.

     How it must have been...
     To give that awful order...
     Now Trei drifts alone...

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

© Copyright 2003 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


1 posted 02-26-2003 12:31 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

OOh eerie... makes me really curious what this is about.  One of your sci-fiesque works I take it?  I like the idea of a newly created world, and the statement "now we all think."  I've pondered on that myself... once we have machines to do all the work for us, what will we be left to do?  Nothing but thinking and remembering, or enjoying ourselves.  Might make us lazy, or alternately, as you describe, might make us ponderous and reflective.

Good use of atmosphere in this poem... the tone was very well set at an early stage and I read this through smoothly and as though spoken.  Very cool work.

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

fractal007
Member Elite
since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


2 posted 03-07-2003 06:41 PM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fractal007

"I like the idea of a newly created world, and the statement "now we all think."  I've pondered on that myself... once we have machines to do all the work for us, what will we be left to do?  Nothing but thinking and remembering, or enjoying ourselves.  Might make us lazy, or alternately, as you describe, might make us ponderous and reflective."

That's basically it, though with an emphasis on the pondering and reflection.  Thanks for the reply.

"If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"
-- Magus
"there is no good and evil, there are just sides."
-- Local Parasite

 
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