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Passions in Poetry

Children of the Fire Ring

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Riley
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since 07-18-2002
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in the pouring rain


0 posted 02-14-2003 01:05 PM       View Profile for Riley   Email Riley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Riley


fire ashes burn now burn
these commands haunt the dreams
little children are found sleepless
with nothing to comfort them
but this
little melodies run sweet
dum de dum de dum de de dum
give over your soul
because you are not safe
lies are planted in the ceiling
look up
you were fooled
yes, you lied and we all know it
a mere pawn in the poor game
with strings
against the blast of icy air
the fire ring is gone
but children remain
in the air goes the melody
dare not repeat
for they will get you
flaming in the course of wheat field
long forgotten in an oasis of time
of the rubble heap that withstands
but you haven't forgotten
for you once were..
now stop
the children are here
dum de dum de dum


Morning mist clings to my face, and my soul opens up to you......

[This message has been edited by Riley (02-16-2003 12:24 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
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since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


1 posted 02-15-2003 06:17 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

I'm going to wait until you've finished this, then respond.  Replying now just in case you forgot about it.  
fractal007
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since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


2 posted 02-17-2003 09:48 PM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fractal007

To be frank, I intended to respond to this poem many times, but every time I went to reply to it something stopped me.  Every time I read this something never clicks.  It is difficult for me to get a "reading" on this one.  But all the same it is a very fascinating poem that seems to be about the lies we tell our children.  The lies are often political and at the same time often personal.  A good dark write, but I do wish you would be a little clearer with your words.  I will add this to my library simply because it holds so many dark and enchanting mysteries.  

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

Riley
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since 07-18-2002
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in the pouring rain


3 posted 02-18-2003 10:05 AM       View Profile for Riley   Email Riley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Riley

LP: Ok, I'm done, and thanks for reminding me otherwise I would have forgotten. ( You know us blondes, such smart people )

Fractal: I will have to wait to give an explanation because at the current time, I don't have much time. But I think, when I write, I have a certain rhythm (sp) going in my head, that I write to, with pauses here and there. And if I so happened to show those commmas then you would see a comma every two words. So if you read it slow and think about a sinster beat ( lol ) then you might be able to read it easier. Will write more laters.


Ri

Morning mist clings to my face, and my soul opens up to you......

Local Parasite
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since 11-05-2001
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Transylconia, Winnipeg


4 posted 02-26-2003 12:22 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Riley... I'm waiting for your interpretation on this poem because I'm also having trouble seeing something click.  There's so much contrast you draw between the children and the fire ring, I'm having a hard time pinpointing exactly what is intended with this.  Are you saying that there are things hidden from newer generations... pains and disgraces that the elders hide from their descendants shamefully, and that in the end, their children are somehow harmed by them?

I like this, the imagery is really disturbing but strangely accurate... and I too picked up on that "sinister" beat...

Lovely writing, I await your next.

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 07-18-2002
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in the pouring rain


5 posted 02-28-2003 08:14 AM       View Profile for Riley   Email Riley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Riley

Brian: Lets see if I can explain this. Um...I think its for more personal reasons almost. Like an extended metaphor covering up someone. The children are a person that is close to me, and of course the fire ring is me. That is my reason. But there could also be the children being lied to, just like we are, and then rebelling. But either way, I think I did pretty good. Thanks for reading...


Riley

Morning mist clings to my face, and my soul opens up to you......

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