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Passions in Poetry

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LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


0 posted 02-09-2003 07:04 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for LoveBug

I breathe and take you in again
And if I close my eyes
It’s as if you’re mine once more
That you held me tonight

And the world is Heaven
For it always is for those who are loved
The thing that conquers all
Has them in his care
And for awhile
I can pretend
That I am one of those

But the wind blows
And your scent is blown away
Gone with the love
And the youth
Although it wasn’t long ago
That my dream was real

For nothing more happened
Than talking of the future
Laughing and arguing
While I sat among your coat and belongings

But… was it such a terrible thing?

For although I left you behind
I also left behind the pain
The malice and unforgiveness
That kills hurting souls from within
And we parted with a smile…

‘Tis hard for forget
The harm that one can do
When you trust in them
And they break you in two
But you can stand
You can climb over the barrier in the road
And move on

And I’ve done that…

Although I still breathe deeply, longing for your scent
I have the strength to turn into the wind
And be clean

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.--Jesus Christ

© Copyright 2003 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved
knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 04-14-2001
Posts 950
obscured vision


1 posted 02-10-2003 06:32 AM       View Profile for knightlyshadows   Email knightlyshadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for knightlyshadows

quote:
But you can stand
You can climb over the barrier in the road
And move on

And I’ve done that…

Although I still breathe deeply, longing for your scent
I have the strength to turn into the wind
And be clean

Beautifully written Erica. Such a strong ending. I can't figure out if it's you that's strong, or does He make you stronger? *peck* keep writting dear. it cleanses as well as the wind.

“A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.”
"You can't fight the tears that aren't coming.."

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


2 posted 02-10-2003 11:20 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

It's good to know that you have the strength to move on like this... a lot of people just sit in a state of bitterness and let it eat them from the inside out.  Forgiveness is a wonderful thing, you know, not only to recieve but also to be able to give.  Not always easy, especially when you have the power to so easily hurt someone.

I think it was Spiderman's uncle Ben who said "With great power comes great responsibility."  This applies to love as well... you have a responsibility to be sensitive, because you have the power to utterly destroy someone.  So, just keep clean and you'll be fine.  

The poem itself... I like it, the way it's organized.  It shows your story very nicely without being exclusively narrative.  The sweetness and the pain are kept in perfect harmony.

You've done well here, I enjoyed reading.  And I know this poem is pretty personal, so thanks for letting us read it.  

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 09-07-2000
Posts 1972
Ann Arbor, MI


3 posted 02-11-2003 10:22 AM       View Profile for Child of the Stars   Email Child of the Stars   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Child of the Stars

"And the world is Heaven
For it always is for those who are loved
The thing that conquers all
Has them in his care
And for awhile
I can pretend
That I am one of those"

You know what? I think you are. It takes a strong person to find clean air...I really enjoyed this..it gave me a hopeful solace from the mood Brian's "Behind Symmetry" put me in. You've effectively expressed yourself...bravo to you, and thank you for giving us a glimpse of you. It's something I'd like to see more often, if you know what i mean.

  ~Carly

empty-armed
and half a soul to go
                     -el sol
                        --Zwan

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