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Passions in Poetry

now i lay me down

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Tramp Poet
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since 01-06-2000
Posts 786
Could Be Anywhere...


0 posted 02-09-2003 06:06 PM       View Profile for Tramp Poet   Email Tramp Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Tramp Poet's Home Page   View IP for Tramp Poet


Lay Me Down

early morn, again
she grubbles
as she stirs.
warming my feet
hard days night
she smiles, welcomes.

wonderful...
the love seen
likely, never to know.
the width, depth
she has it all
does it show?

A turn, a sigh
squeal or three
warming cold sheets.
welcome lil snuggle
followed by ecstasy
I lay me down to sleep.

early morn, again
blankets oh so warm
sleep chasing, peeking.
warming my soul
hard days night
she smiles, g'night.

~~~~~~~

[This message has been edited by Tramp Poet (02-09-2003 06:08 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Daniel James Burt - All Rights Reserved
LoveBug
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Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


1 posted 02-09-2003 07:01 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

I love this... this is such a sweet poem.. wonderful for valentine's day. I'm glad that you have someone like this to write about. Very well-written

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.--Jesus Christ

Local Parasite
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Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


2 posted 02-10-2003 11:14 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Sleeping in is so awesome.  I've experienced sleeping in with another person in the bed with me, only a couple of times though, and I know it truly is a nice feeling.  While I don't have much room to relate to this poem, I found it very sweet... and like Erica said, perfect for St V's Day.  

Lovely work, Tramp Poet.  A very enjoyable, heart-and-feet-warming piece.  Thank you for sharing it with us.  

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 09-07-2000
Posts 1972
Ann Arbor, MI


3 posted 02-11-2003 10:26 AM       View Profile for Child of the Stars   Email Child of the Stars   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Child of the Stars

Heh! Grubbles! I've never heard that before. This is suuuch a huggy-feely-good poem. Makes me want to snuggle someone myself.

  ~Carly

empty-armed
and half a soul to go
                     -el sol
                        --Zwan

Tramp Poet
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 786
Could Be Anywhere...


4 posted 02-11-2003 06:31 PM       View Profile for Tramp Poet   Email Tramp Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tramp Poet's Home Page   View IP for Tramp Poet

thank you muchly for the input...
lol "grubbles" started out life as grumbles and evolved past murmurs, etc. Ended up a fabricated word that I think illustrates the half awake "let me sleep" state?
Was concerned my pursuit of economy left the piece too "sparce" for good interaction. Perhaps making the reader do too much work putting the pieces together? Lol, seems economy of words is the path I am currently chasing...odd for a person of words.
anyway, thanks for the reads & writes!
 
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