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Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 09-07-2000
Posts 1972
Ann Arbor, MI


0 posted 01-13-2003 07:04 PM       View Profile for Child of the Stars   Email Child of the Stars   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Child of the Stars

we name each other
straying from sight on long-windex beaches
trudging toward the days where everything
is right inside us strolling
and tugging on each other
's-seams

we smile on fortuna
and her light-broken prism grown
gowning her chalky skin

spit

let the white
night
in

[This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (01-13-2003 07:05 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
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Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


1 posted 01-15-2003 12:32 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

This one's tough to understand, Carly (like I should expect anything else by now), but I'm going to try.  Bear with me here, and if I'm way off, correct me please.  

First, it seemed like you were describing an internalized hope for some happy delusion, for a state of joy and happiness between two people, "straying from sight on long-windex beaches," in other words, walking on clarity but not using it - looking forward when the option exists to look down.  Windex beaches, clear and perfectly transparent, that you "trudge" upon instead of looking through.

You "name each other," attributing hopes to one another, walking together towards the same goals of deluded happiness...

Maybe I'm reading my own feelings into this one a little bit, heh... could be that this poem is tugging away at some of my already existing sentiments, bringing them to surface... but that's really what I see in here, and I have trouble interpreting it any other way.

Brian

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 04-14-2001
Posts 950
obscured vision


2 posted 02-03-2003 01:50 PM       View Profile for knightlyshadows   Email knightlyshadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for knightlyshadows

ah, another poem i've been meaning to reply to, but just haven't. *slacker*
carly anne.. you've stumped me on this one. i usually atleast have one idea as to what your work is about but this one is baffling. you always do that so well. :p *wubs you and misses you*
loved this bit dear:
quote:
trudging toward the days where everything
is right inside us strolling
and tugging on each other
's-seams

we smile on fortuna
and her light-broken prism grown
gowning her chalky skin


the trudging makes me think you move toward this good thing which you like. which is completely the opposite of what most folks would do. the spit /really/ messed with my head... i'd love an explanation of this one, love. *smoochy*

A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.
"You can't fight the tears that aren't coming.."

fractal007
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since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


3 posted 02-08-2003 08:22 PM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fractal007

Interesting poem, though I must ask what you mean by "fortuna" and the "light-broken prism grown."  These terms confused me as I read the poem.

Other than that, though, I think this poem has a very dark and mysterious edge to it.  I like that kind of an edge.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

Child of the Stars
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since 09-07-2000
Posts 1972
Ann Arbor, MI


4 posted 02-11-2003 10:30 AM       View Profile for Child of the Stars   Email Child of the Stars   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Child of the Stars

Thanks a ton guys...

Fractal, Fortuna's sposed to stand for fate. This is really about my struggle between acceptance of my life and all the tactics I do to change it or defy it, especially when relative to my somebody special. The light-broken prism gives image to the sort of sketchy, shattered feel to something I once revered as "lightful" or giving understanding. It has encompassed fate..."gowning" her...Heh, I know there's a lot to be read between the lines, but I hope that helped at least a little bit. Thanks again for reading.

  ~Carly

empty-armed
and half a soul to go
                     -el sol
                        --Zwan

fractal007
Member Elite
since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


5 posted 02-16-2003 01:07 AM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fractal007

I appreciate poetry with lots to be read between the lines, as you say.  You've done a good job displaying the struggle between the idealized self and the acceptance of the real self.  Your glass is an appropriate image.  We can see the world through glass and yet we can also see ourselves in it.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

PoetryIsLife
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since 10-27-2001
Posts 4115
...in my boxers...


6 posted 02-17-2003 03:47 PM       View Profile for PoetryIsLife   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PoetryIsLife

I'll be back to this one. Mhm, for sure.

~Titus

"On the plains of Hesitation lie the blackend bones of countless millions, who, at the verge of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died."

  

PoetryIsLife
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since 10-27-2001
Posts 4115
...in my boxers...


7 posted 02-26-2003 03:41 PM       View Profile for PoetryIsLife   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PoetryIsLife

Well, I'm finally back, O' Starchild one, and I'm as stunned and smiling as before. This piece is right up my alley, but better then I'll ever write.

Smashing.

~Titus


"On the plains of Hesitation lie the blackend bones of countless millions, who, at the verge of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died."
    

[This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (02-26-2003 03:42 PM).]

bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


8 posted 02-26-2003 04:38 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

The placement of your words
shows wit and wonder
on this windex world.

You should submit to the book.
 
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